Two things about that:
- The book was Nevada, by Imogen Binnie, and both Nevada and Imogen Binnie are pretty terrific. If you're looking for your next book, I recommend it. The honesty of all the characters — not just the main one — is sort of breathtaking. (One of my favorite poets blogged about it, too.)
- In it, the main character, Maria, talks very briefly a couple of times about feeling self-pity in lieu of other emotions. It is a very minor piece of the overall book, but I'd been sick on the couch for two days, and it resonated. I totally do that, though I am not sure I'd have identified it that way. Like, I start feeling something powerful, and very quickly it spirals into a big wah wah wah I'm worthless fest, which cannot be remedied by actual awareness that I am in no way worthless, or even by being told by others how terrific (or unworthless) I am (which, in general, I like a whole lot). I think maybe it only gets remedied by:
- falling asleep, or
- actually feeling whatever else I'm trying to avoid.
So, that's where my head is. Just me? What's your Thursday look like?