Today on Facebook, a friend of mine posted, "Every religion thinks it's the one true correct religion. Assuming there is one, they can't all be right."
She herself is not religious, and she is not the first person I've heard say this — or the hundredth. I think it's a pretty common perception about religion. I didn't say anything on Facebook, because I'm not interested in shaming people or getting into a battle about it.
But in case I have readers who deeply believe that to be true — it's not.
Some religious people (including a handful I've met) think their religion is the one true correct one. I've met some of those folks.
But I don't.
Almost none of the religious people I know think that.
Most of the religious people I know think their religion is the one that works best for them, right now. Many, many of the religious people I know have shifted religions, embrace folks of other religions or no religion or something in-between.
And there are lots of religions that are pretty explicit that that religion itself does not exclude other religions or religious doctrines, even among its own followers.
Like I said, not looking for a fight on this — just correcting a misperception I see a lot. Be careful of words like "every" and "all."
In other news, it's 35° here. Feels like June.
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Friday, November 14, 2014
I never promised you
Someone shared a thing on the internet today that said "REDHEADS are God's way of giving the world ROSES."
My reaction to that was not:
No, my reaction to that was to think, "Aren't roses God's way of giving the world roses?"
What the hell is wrong with me?
Day 11 of our month of gratitude: I am so thankful not everyone is as cynical and snarky as I am. People's lovely thoughts are, in fact, lovely thoughts, and I am glad people are having them.
My reaction to that was not:
- To think of the many redheads I know and love, and smile
- To be delighted that the person who shared that has such a sweet way of thinking of her great-grandson
- To be glad that an infinite and wonderful God, in whom I believe, has so many ways of expression.
No, my reaction to that was to think, "Aren't roses God's way of giving the world roses?"
What the hell is wrong with me?
Day 11 of our month of gratitude: I am so thankful not everyone is as cynical and snarky as I am. People's lovely thoughts are, in fact, lovely thoughts, and I am glad people are having them.
Monday, July 14, 2014
Unplanned
Someone recently asked me how blogging fit into my daily life, and I responded with something like, "I WISH blogging fit into my daily life."
And you all know that's true, that for me blogging is mostly a way of staying in touch (though I love all my internet-only buddies here, too), and that I love staying in touch.
But also? I am just filled with gratitude for my life right now. Like, people ask how my weekend was, and I say, "busy," while rolling my eyes and almost out of breath, but the fact of the matter is, I choose my busy, because my life is filled to brimming with fun stuff and I don't want to miss out on any of it.
I've had this problem before; in college, I'd stay up late and get up early (sometimes), just because I didn't want to miss latenight conversations or shenanigans in the hallway of my dorm, and if I could get myself up in time, I didn't want to miss breakfast with a different group of amazing people.
For example, this weekend was the first in a long time that RI and I didn't have any plans — and we have a lot of heavily planned weekends coming up. In this unplanned weekend, I:
And you all know that's true, that for me blogging is mostly a way of staying in touch (though I love all my internet-only buddies here, too), and that I love staying in touch.
But also? I am just filled with gratitude for my life right now. Like, people ask how my weekend was, and I say, "busy," while rolling my eyes and almost out of breath, but the fact of the matter is, I choose my busy, because my life is filled to brimming with fun stuff and I don't want to miss out on any of it.
I've had this problem before; in college, I'd stay up late and get up early (sometimes), just because I didn't want to miss latenight conversations or shenanigans in the hallway of my dorm, and if I could get myself up in time, I didn't want to miss breakfast with a different group of amazing people.
For example, this weekend was the first in a long time that RI and I didn't have any plans — and we have a lot of heavily planned weekends coming up. In this unplanned weekend, I:
- Went to a lecture on "The Future of Truth and the Decline of America’s Moral Integrity"
- Visited with my parents and some old family friends
- Went yardsaling
- Hit the farmer's market
- Took a nap
- Started a new book (reading, not writing)
- Watched a documentary
- Had a date night out at our favorite Latin American restaurant
- Played a new game
- Set up a screen tent and a queen-sized airbed on the deck and fell asleep watching the fireflies (and woke up hearing birdsongs and the neighbor kid practicing violin)
- Went to church and heard my dad preach a really excellent sermon on the child refugees
- Took another nap
- Had a spontaneous ice cream double date with some friends
- Went to the supermarket
- Played with my niece and nephew
- Saw the very end of the World Cup final
- Read with my niece and nephew
- Had dinner with the family
I did not:
- Go to bed as early as I planned
- Get the laundry done
- Do a little writing for work
- Blog
...but I wouldn't have missed any of it. I mean, right?
Monday, March 31, 2014
Just Cause (Part 4)
And continuing 40 Days of Worthy Causes... I'm highlighting a cause a day for each day of Lent. I hope you'll find some of them worth looking into, even supporting — and I hope you'll tell me what some of your favorites are, too, in the comments.
Day 16: Breast Cancer Action. I first heard of BCA from a person who's had breast cancer who dislikes a lot of other breast cancer awareness organizations. She has a pretty good rant about it, that I couldn't possibly top, so I'm not going to try. From BCAction's site: "...they are the only national breast cancer organization that does not accept funding from companies that profit from or contribute to cancer. Because they can't be bought, they tell the truth about important issues concerning our health, like toxins in the environment. Their work affects all of us, not just those with breast cancer."
Day 17: Sea Shepherd. Sea Shepherd first came to my attention after Bindi Irwin decided to associate herself with Sea World. Paul Watson, of Sea Shepherd, had some great things to say about both why Sea World is terrible and also why that's not the fault of one fifteen-year-old girl. They do incredible work and have the best logo for a nonprofit I can think of. From their site: "Our mission is to end the destruction of habitat and slaughter of wildlife in the world's oceans in order to conserve and protect ecosystems and species."
Day 18: Families Against Mandatory Minimums. I saw The House I Live In this week, and it left me with lots of feelings and thoughts and plans for action (if you're interested in watching it, it's available on Netflix). One thing that was very clear to me is that mandatory minimum sentences aren't helping anyone — and from even the least sympathetic, most mercenary viewpoint, they're costing us a ridiculous amount of money. From FAMM's Mission: "FAMM (Families Against Mandatory Minimums) is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization fighting for smart sentencing laws that maintain public safety. FAMM sees a country where criminal sentencing is individualized, humane, and sufficient to impose fair punishment and protect public safety."
Day 19: Autistic Self Advocacy Network. This is another organization that's important to someone who'se important to me — and one that's specifically helping a population that's often talked about by others speak for itself. From the mission statement: "The Autistic Self Advocacy Network seeks to advance the principles of the disability rights movement with regard to autism. Drawing on the principles of the cross-disability community, ASAN seeks to organize the community of Autistic adults and youth to have our voices heard in the national conversation about us."
Day 20: The Root Social Justice Center. The Root started as a coworking space, but has become so much more in such a short period of time. It's rare for me to go two weeks without attending some event there, and every time, I'm just impressed with the simplicity of the idea of having a space where important social justice work of lots of different kinds happens under one roof. From the "About the Root" page: "The Root SJC provides a physically and financially accessible space to support and bring together communities working for social justice. We operate collectively to sustain a space that strives to be free of oppression, harm, and injustice."
Day 21: Invisible No More. From the home page: "Invisible No More is a peer run group representing the Trans* community, based in the Pioneer Valley of Massachusetts. We exist for the purposes of Support, Advocacy, Education, and Celebration." INM's on this list because they supported a really wonderful production of "The Naked I" this weekend, which arguably counts toward all four of those purposes.
Day 16: Breast Cancer Action. I first heard of BCA from a person who's had breast cancer who dislikes a lot of other breast cancer awareness organizations. She has a pretty good rant about it, that I couldn't possibly top, so I'm not going to try. From BCAction's site: "...they are the only national breast cancer organization that does not accept funding from companies that profit from or contribute to cancer. Because they can't be bought, they tell the truth about important issues concerning our health, like toxins in the environment. Their work affects all of us, not just those with breast cancer."
Day 17: Sea Shepherd. Sea Shepherd first came to my attention after Bindi Irwin decided to associate herself with Sea World. Paul Watson, of Sea Shepherd, had some great things to say about both why Sea World is terrible and also why that's not the fault of one fifteen-year-old girl. They do incredible work and have the best logo for a nonprofit I can think of. From their site: "Our mission is to end the destruction of habitat and slaughter of wildlife in the world's oceans in order to conserve and protect ecosystems and species."
Day 18: Families Against Mandatory Minimums. I saw The House I Live In this week, and it left me with lots of feelings and thoughts and plans for action (if you're interested in watching it, it's available on Netflix). One thing that was very clear to me is that mandatory minimum sentences aren't helping anyone — and from even the least sympathetic, most mercenary viewpoint, they're costing us a ridiculous amount of money. From FAMM's Mission: "FAMM (Families Against Mandatory Minimums) is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization fighting for smart sentencing laws that maintain public safety. FAMM sees a country where criminal sentencing is individualized, humane, and sufficient to impose fair punishment and protect public safety."
Day 19: Autistic Self Advocacy Network. This is another organization that's important to someone who'se important to me — and one that's specifically helping a population that's often talked about by others speak for itself. From the mission statement: "The Autistic Self Advocacy Network seeks to advance the principles of the disability rights movement with regard to autism. Drawing on the principles of the cross-disability community, ASAN seeks to organize the community of Autistic adults and youth to have our voices heard in the national conversation about us."
Day 20: The Root Social Justice Center. The Root started as a coworking space, but has become so much more in such a short period of time. It's rare for me to go two weeks without attending some event there, and every time, I'm just impressed with the simplicity of the idea of having a space where important social justice work of lots of different kinds happens under one roof. From the "About the Root" page: "The Root SJC provides a physically and financially accessible space to support and bring together communities working for social justice. We operate collectively to sustain a space that strives to be free of oppression, harm, and injustice."
Day 21: Invisible No More. From the home page: "Invisible No More is a peer run group representing the Trans* community, based in the Pioneer Valley of Massachusetts. We exist for the purposes of Support, Advocacy, Education, and Celebration." INM's on this list because they supported a really wonderful production of "The Naked I" this weekend, which arguably counts toward all four of those purposes.
Monday, March 24, 2014
Just Cause (Part 3)
It's time for a continuation of 40 Days of Worthy Causes. I'll be highlighting a cause a day for each day of Lent. I hope you'll find some of them worth looking into, even supporting — and I hope you'll tell me what some of your favorites are, too, in the comments.
Day 11: Planned Parenthood. Probably, you all know what Planned Parenthood does, but if not, it provides health care, of many kinds, to people who need it, and takes a lot of heat for doing so.* I still go there because I have insurance, and they took care of me when I didn't, and now my insurance dollars fund something I believe in. From the "Who We Are" page: "Planned Parenthood is one of the nation's leading providers of high-quality, affordable health care for women, men, and young people, and the nation's largest provider of sex education. Planned Parenthood also works with partner organizations worldwide to improve the sexual health and well-being of individuals and families everywhere."
Day 12: Heifer International. HI is one of the first three charitable organizations I can recall raising money for, as a child** — there is something tangible and easy-to-understand about giving animals that can feed, clothe, and otherwise sustain people. From "About Heifer": "We empower families to turn hunger and poverty into hope and prosperity – but our approach is more than just giving them a handout. Heifer links communities and helps bring sustainable agriculture and commerce to areas with a long history of poverty. Our animals provide partners with both food and reliable income, as agricultural products such as milk, eggs and honey can be traded or sold at market. When many families gain this new sustainable income, it brings new opportunities for building schools, creating agricultural cooperatives, forming community savings and funding small businesses." Also, I would swear that there was a bit on The Office where Kevin described HI's work as "a great prank," but I can't find it, for the life of me. Anyone else remember that?
Day 13: Sylvia Rivera Law Project. From the home page: "The Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression, regardless of income or race, and without facing harassment, discrimination, or violence." Seems important, right?
Day 14: Bike and Build. I first heard of this group a year ago (two?) when they were doing a bike clinic with kids at the church of a friend of mine when I was staying at said friend's house. From the home page: "Bike & Build organizes cross-country bicycle trips which benefit affordable housing groups. Specifically, we fund projects planned and executed by young adults. Over the past 10 seasons we have donated more than $4.5M; built for more than 160,000 hours; pedaled over 7.5M miles; and engaged more than 2000 young adults in spreading the word about the affordable housing crisis in America." And hey, if you're interested, they still have 2014 rider spots available.
Day 15: Camp Rising Sun. People who know me well know I believe in camp, generally. This camp helps kids with cancer. I first heard about it from a former coworker, one of their volunteers, who used to (perhaps still does?) go back every summer, and when she came back to work she just shone with the joy of that experience. From their "Who We Are" section: "It is our mission at Camp Rising Sun to provide a safe nurturing environment to kids who have faced the diagnosis of cancer, so that they may grow and learn from their experiences to become the best they can be."
Day 16: National Park Foundation. Maybe it's just because I'm sick to death of winter, and ready to get out and hiking, but our national parks are awesome, and I support them. "The National Park Foundation, in partnership with the National Park Service, enriches America’s national parks and programs through private support, safeguarding our heritage and inspiring generations of national park enthusiasts."
*Also, unrelated to Planned Parenthood, but related to what PP gets a lot of attention for, which is abortion: If you have a chance to see After Tiller, I hope you will — I saw it a few weeks back and it really moved me and shifted my thinking about some things. I saw it with the only other person who I know saw it, and she is probably bored of hearing me talk about it by now. You can watch it through Amazon, if there isn't a screening near you.
**Other early favorites were:
Day 11: Planned Parenthood. Probably, you all know what Planned Parenthood does, but if not, it provides health care, of many kinds, to people who need it, and takes a lot of heat for doing so.* I still go there because I have insurance, and they took care of me when I didn't, and now my insurance dollars fund something I believe in. From the "Who We Are" page: "Planned Parenthood is one of the nation's leading providers of high-quality, affordable health care for women, men, and young people, and the nation's largest provider of sex education. Planned Parenthood also works with partner organizations worldwide to improve the sexual health and well-being of individuals and families everywhere."
Day 12: Heifer International. HI is one of the first three charitable organizations I can recall raising money for, as a child** — there is something tangible and easy-to-understand about giving animals that can feed, clothe, and otherwise sustain people. From "About Heifer": "We empower families to turn hunger and poverty into hope and prosperity – but our approach is more than just giving them a handout. Heifer links communities and helps bring sustainable agriculture and commerce to areas with a long history of poverty. Our animals provide partners with both food and reliable income, as agricultural products such as milk, eggs and honey can be traded or sold at market. When many families gain this new sustainable income, it brings new opportunities for building schools, creating agricultural cooperatives, forming community savings and funding small businesses." Also, I would swear that there was a bit on The Office where Kevin described HI's work as "a great prank," but I can't find it, for the life of me. Anyone else remember that?
Day 13: Sylvia Rivera Law Project. From the home page: "The Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression, regardless of income or race, and without facing harassment, discrimination, or violence." Seems important, right?
Day 14: Bike and Build. I first heard of this group a year ago (two?) when they were doing a bike clinic with kids at the church of a friend of mine when I was staying at said friend's house. From the home page: "Bike & Build organizes cross-country bicycle trips which benefit affordable housing groups. Specifically, we fund projects planned and executed by young adults. Over the past 10 seasons we have donated more than $4.5M; built for more than 160,000 hours; pedaled over 7.5M miles; and engaged more than 2000 young adults in spreading the word about the affordable housing crisis in America." And hey, if you're interested, they still have 2014 rider spots available.
Day 15: Camp Rising Sun. People who know me well know I believe in camp, generally. This camp helps kids with cancer. I first heard about it from a former coworker, one of their volunteers, who used to (perhaps still does?) go back every summer, and when she came back to work she just shone with the joy of that experience. From their "Who We Are" section: "It is our mission at Camp Rising Sun to provide a safe nurturing environment to kids who have faced the diagnosis of cancer, so that they may grow and learn from their experiences to become the best they can be."
Day 16: National Park Foundation. Maybe it's just because I'm sick to death of winter, and ready to get out and hiking, but our national parks are awesome, and I support them. "The National Park Foundation, in partnership with the National Park Service, enriches America’s national parks and programs through private support, safeguarding our heritage and inspiring generations of national park enthusiasts."
*Also, unrelated to Planned Parenthood, but related to what PP gets a lot of attention for, which is abortion: If you have a chance to see After Tiller, I hope you will — I saw it a few weeks back and it really moved me and shifted my thinking about some things. I saw it with the only other person who I know saw it, and she is probably bored of hearing me talk about it by now. You can watch it through Amazon, if there isn't a screening near you.
**Other early favorites were:
- Unicef, because children
- What was then the Presiding Bishop's Fund for World Relief, now Episcopal Relief and Development, because church
- The National Multiple Sclerosis Society, because competitive reading. Anyone got a kid doing the MS readathon? Or any other readathon?
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Right Said Fred
Why should I write a post when my friends do it better?
Here is what my Facebook feed said about the death of Fred Phelps today. I think it is pretty safe to say that none of these people would have been considered pro-Phelps, or even Phelps-neutral, while he lived. I did not cherry-pick these responses. This is literally every response I saw.
I may have more complicated feelings later, but right now, I'm hardly thinking about Fred Phelps. I am thinking about how lucky I am to be in a circle of folks who are so loving and hilarious and unhateful. I am pretty excited that these are the people I have surrounded myself with, or been surrounded by, over a lifetime.
Note: All quotes are used with permission, and attributed by permission, except for the ones by celebrities who already shared the sentiments publicly, so, seems OK. I don't actually follow either Mary Lambert or George Takei, but my real-life friends shared their words.
Here is what my Facebook feed said about the death of Fred Phelps today. I think it is pretty safe to say that none of these people would have been considered pro-Phelps, or even Phelps-neutral, while he lived. I did not cherry-pick these responses. This is literally every response I saw.
Rev. Emily C. Heath: I pray that Fred Phelps finds in death the peace and love of God that he never found in life.
"Do not repay evil for evil..." - 1 Peter 3:9
Heidi Carrington Heath: Prayers of healing, peace, and reconciliation for Fred Phelps. Fred, may you be surrounded by the infinite mercy of God's love that loves all of us. May you find the peace in death you could not find in life. May your family find comfort as they grieve your death. Go with God.
Patrick Hagerty: I know that the man, while alive, espoused a hate-filled agenda. I hope, now that he is gone, that he is at peace and all the conflict and pain he caused can now start to heal. In the end we should treat even those who despise us with compassion, although they would not do the same for us. It's what makes us different.
Sonora Chase Snyder: Farewell Fred, and may God heal you before you get reincarnated.
Beth Zacharias Hunt
can’t help but wonder where Fred Phelps finds himself this afternoon.
Erik Marino: Fred Phelps is dead. My bracket is ruined.
George Takei: Today, Mr. Phelps may have learned that God, in fact, hates no one. Vicious and hate-filled as he was, may his soul find the kind of peace through death that was so plainly elusive during his life.
Mary Lambert: Don't practice what Fred Phelps preached. A death is a death is a death. My wish is that he is met by the beautiful souls he hatefully picketed and learns compassion, empathy, and true love.
I may have more complicated feelings later, but right now, I'm hardly thinking about Fred Phelps. I am thinking about how lucky I am to be in a circle of folks who are so loving and hilarious and unhateful. I am pretty excited that these are the people I have surrounded myself with, or been surrounded by, over a lifetime.
Note: All quotes are used with permission, and attributed by permission, except for the ones by celebrities who already shared the sentiments publicly, so, seems OK. I don't actually follow either Mary Lambert or George Takei, but my real-life friends shared their words.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Just Cause (Part 2)
Sometimes, things happen, like not having the internet at home. But now, a day late, we have a continuation of 40 Days of Worthy Causes. I'll be highlighting a cause a day for each day of Lent. I hope you'll find some of them worth looking into, even supporting — and I hope you'll tell me what some of your favorites are, too, in the comments.
Day 5: Green Mountain Crossroads. GMC is an LGBTQ community organization for southeastern Vermont, southwestern New Hampshire, and northwestern Massachusetts. It was founded by a couple of people who are simultaneously really incredibly lovely and very very dedicated to their community. From the Facebook page: "Green Mountain Crossroads is a nonprofit organization working to increase the connections among the LGBTQ communities. We maintain a community events calendar on our website, and assist in organizing events, workshops, performances, and support groups. Our website also provides resources and referrals for health and well being."
Day 6: Davis-Putter Scholarship Fund. I have a friend who's on the board of this organization (they have 16 days left to raise $10,000 on their indiegogo campaign, if you're into that), but I also just love the idea of supporting student activists, specifically. From their "about the fund" page: "The Davis-Putter Scholarship Fund provides grants to students actively working for peace and justice. These need-based scholarships are awarded to those able to do academic work at the university level and who are part of the progressive movement on the campus and in the community. Early recipients worked for civil rights, against McCarthyism, and for peace in Vietnam. Recent grantees have been active in the struggle against racism, sexism, homophobia, and other forms of oppression; building the movement for economic justice; and creating peace through international anti-imperialist solidarity."
Day 7: Justice in the Body. I got to know this organization (and one of its founders) when I crashed on its floor (organization, not founder) about a year ago. If you're in the Portland area, check it out — I find myself frequently wishing it was closer, or actually just more widespread. They're doing great work in so many seemingly disparate but widely varied ways. From their "About JITB" section: "Justice in the Body is a socially responsible education, training, and movement center devoted to integrating well-being, love, justice, and liberation with individuals, groups, and social movements." The founder I met had a practice of asking people who asked about JITB: "What would justice in your body look like?" I've been carrying that question around for a year now.
Day 8: Academy of Hope. My first job out of college was teaching adult ed at AoH, and that experience was totally formative in so many ways. It changed how I thought about teaching, and learning, and privilege, while I was at the same time living in a group house that was changing how I thought about faith and community. Big year. When I moved back to DC a few years later, I volunteered, and am proud to have also participated in their adult spelling bee, which is among the best fundraisers I've participated in. From the "Mission and Values" page: "Academy of Hope's mission is to provide high quality adult basic education in a manner that changes lives and improves our community. ... Since its beginning in 1985, the Academy of Hope has been powered by adult learners, volunteers, donors and staff who are dedicated to building one of the most respected not-for-profit organizations in the Washington, D.C., area."
Day 9: You Gotta Believe. An old friend is adopting a 19-year-old young man through this organization. I can't think of any reason why most of you would know that the adoption (or fostering) of older youth is, like, A Thing for me, but it is. From their mission: "You Gotta Believe is one of a precious few organizations in the U.S and the only organization in the New York City Metro area that solely limits its practice to finding permanent parents and families for young adults, teens, and pre-teens in the foster care system. We were founded with a mission to find adoptive parents for pre-teens, teens and young adults before they age out of the foster care system and run the extremely high risk of becoming homeless."
Day 10: Yes!And Collaborative Arts. Did you know that March is Youth Art Month? Neither did I. But I do know that having artistic outlets, early, made me comfortable in many of the things I am today: weird, silly, a gifted problem-solver... Those outlets also gave me the friend who suggested this nonprofit to me. From the "About Y!A" page: "Yes! And... equips children and young people with the tools to be better learners, to believe in themselves and to realize their dreams through the work of creating collaboratively with peers and professional artists. As educators, we practice and teach a different way of interacting with kids, with each other and with the world. We believe that children learn best when they are given the opportunity to engage with one another, classroom content and their own ideas in the context of a safe, affirming and specific environment – this we call Tribe Centered Learning, a unique brand of Collaborative Arts Education."
Day 5: Green Mountain Crossroads. GMC is an LGBTQ community organization for southeastern Vermont, southwestern New Hampshire, and northwestern Massachusetts. It was founded by a couple of people who are simultaneously really incredibly lovely and very very dedicated to their community. From the Facebook page: "Green Mountain Crossroads is a nonprofit organization working to increase the connections among the LGBTQ communities. We maintain a community events calendar on our website, and assist in organizing events, workshops, performances, and support groups. Our website also provides resources and referrals for health and well being."
Day 6: Davis-Putter Scholarship Fund. I have a friend who's on the board of this organization (they have 16 days left to raise $10,000 on their indiegogo campaign, if you're into that), but I also just love the idea of supporting student activists, specifically. From their "about the fund" page: "The Davis-Putter Scholarship Fund provides grants to students actively working for peace and justice. These need-based scholarships are awarded to those able to do academic work at the university level and who are part of the progressive movement on the campus and in the community. Early recipients worked for civil rights, against McCarthyism, and for peace in Vietnam. Recent grantees have been active in the struggle against racism, sexism, homophobia, and other forms of oppression; building the movement for economic justice; and creating peace through international anti-imperialist solidarity."
Day 7: Justice in the Body. I got to know this organization (and one of its founders) when I crashed on its floor (organization, not founder) about a year ago. If you're in the Portland area, check it out — I find myself frequently wishing it was closer, or actually just more widespread. They're doing great work in so many seemingly disparate but widely varied ways. From their "About JITB" section: "Justice in the Body is a socially responsible education, training, and movement center devoted to integrating well-being, love, justice, and liberation with individuals, groups, and social movements." The founder I met had a practice of asking people who asked about JITB: "What would justice in your body look like?" I've been carrying that question around for a year now.
Day 8: Academy of Hope. My first job out of college was teaching adult ed at AoH, and that experience was totally formative in so many ways. It changed how I thought about teaching, and learning, and privilege, while I was at the same time living in a group house that was changing how I thought about faith and community. Big year. When I moved back to DC a few years later, I volunteered, and am proud to have also participated in their adult spelling bee, which is among the best fundraisers I've participated in. From the "Mission and Values" page: "Academy of Hope's mission is to provide high quality adult basic education in a manner that changes lives and improves our community. ... Since its beginning in 1985, the Academy of Hope has been powered by adult learners, volunteers, donors and staff who are dedicated to building one of the most respected not-for-profit organizations in the Washington, D.C., area."
Day 9: You Gotta Believe. An old friend is adopting a 19-year-old young man through this organization. I can't think of any reason why most of you would know that the adoption (or fostering) of older youth is, like, A Thing for me, but it is. From their mission: "You Gotta Believe is one of a precious few organizations in the U.S and the only organization in the New York City Metro area that solely limits its practice to finding permanent parents and families for young adults, teens, and pre-teens in the foster care system. We were founded with a mission to find adoptive parents for pre-teens, teens and young adults before they age out of the foster care system and run the extremely high risk of becoming homeless."
Day 10: Yes!And Collaborative Arts. Did you know that March is Youth Art Month? Neither did I. But I do know that having artistic outlets, early, made me comfortable in many of the things I am today: weird, silly, a gifted problem-solver... Those outlets also gave me the friend who suggested this nonprofit to me. From the "About Y!A" page: "Yes! And... equips children and young people with the tools to be better learners, to believe in themselves and to realize their dreams through the work of creating collaboratively with peers and professional artists. As educators, we practice and teach a different way of interacting with kids, with each other and with the world. We believe that children learn best when they are given the opportunity to engage with one another, classroom content and their own ideas in the context of a safe, affirming and specific environment – this we call Tribe Centered Learning, a unique brand of Collaborative Arts Education."
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Just Cause (Part 1)
So now we embark on our 40 Days of Worthy Causes. I'll be highlighting a cause a day for each day of Lent. I hope you'll find some of them worth looking into, even supporting — and I hope you'll tell me what some of your favorites are, too, in the comments.
- Day 1: Episcopal Relief and Development formerly The Presiding Bishop's Fund for World Relief). ERD is one of my go-to organizations, mostly because it's well-managed. From the "What We Do" page: "Episcopal Relief & Development works with Church partners and other local organizations to save lives and transform communities worldwide. We rebuild after disasters and empower people to create lasting solutions that fight poverty, hunger and disease. Working in close to 40 countries, our programs impact the lives of approximately 3 million people around the world. ... Our four core program areas [are]: Alleviate Hunger and Improve Food Supply, Create Economic Opportunities and Strengthen Communities, Promote Health and Fight Disease, Respond to Disasters and Rebuild Communities."
- Day 2: JDRF. When I started asking around about people's favorite causes, I was surprised by how often this one came up, because I didn't immediately recognize the acronym. But it did come up, a lot. From the "About JDRF" page: "JDRF is the leading global organization funding type 1 diabetes (T1D) research. JDRF’s goal is to progressively remove the impact of T1D from people’s lives until we achieve a world without T1D. JDRF collaborates with a wide spectrum of partners and is the only organization with the scientific resources, regulatory influence, and a working plan to better treat, prevent, and eventually cure T1D. ... JDRF is currently sponsoring $530 million in scientific research in 17 countries. In 2012 alone, JDRF provided more than $110 million to T1D research. More than 80 percent of JDRF’s expenditures directly support research and research-related education. In 2012 Forbes magazine named JDRF one of its five All-Star charities, citing the organization’s efficiency and effectiveness."
- Day 3: Takoma Park Volunteer Fire Department. TPVFD is mostly on this list because of the good work frequent commenter Mike is doing with them, both as a volunteer and through partner efforts for community CPR training. From Mike's comment on this post, "I got a grant for my volunteer fire department to teach a CPR instructor class (CPR instructor training is surprisingly hard to get and very expensive) for free to people who commit to teaching a certain number of free CPR classes for the community over the next few years. Next we'll be looking for funding to do an instructor class for bilingual Spanish speakers, so we can offer CPR classes in Spanish, and ASL speakers so we can offer classes in sign language. (You'd think that would be available already in these parts -- D.C. -- thanks to Gallaudet University, but even they use interpreters and non-signing instructors.) Disclosure: The training is provided through the donated labor of a small business Heather and I started to teach CPR and first aid, so we will also be able to employ some of these new instructors. But we are not making any money from the grants. (Like us on Facebook: Takoma Park CPR.)"
- Day 4 (also International Women's Day): Girls on the Run. This is another one that's dear to the heart of several who are dear to me. From the "Who We Are" page: "We inspire girls to be joyful, healthy and confident using a fun, experience-based curriculum which creatively integrates running. ... We envision a world where every girl knows and activates her limitless potential and is free to boldly pursue her dreams. Girls on the Run honors its core values. We strive to: Recognize our power and responsibility to be intentional in our decision making; embrace our differences and find strength in our connectedness; express joy, optimism and gratitude through our words, thoughts and actions; nurture our physical, emotional and spiritual health; lead with an open heart and assume positive intent; stand up for ourselves and others." I'm not really doing it justice. It's a phenomenal curriculum that incorporates physical health with confidence-boosting and leadership and other good values.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Lent-al stew
So, you know, Lent's coming. (Starting Wednesday, in fact.)
Last year I started a discipline here that I liked, but dropped the ball on.
This year, I'm attempting to improve.
I'm going to highlight 40 good causes — one a day for each of the days of Lent (so, one each day of Ash Wednesday through Holy Saturday, skipping Sundays) in a weekly roundup post on Sundays.
Here's your chance to influence me.
Share in the comments below (or on Facebook) whatever good causes are your favorites right now — nonprofits especially, but also Kickstarters for people doing good work, etc. Share as many as you like; include a description if you like, include a link if you can. Feel free to share things you're personally connected to, organizations you give money to, groups you serve as a volunteer, groups that have helped you when you needed it, whatever. Secular and religious are equally welcome, and religious certainly includes non-Christian.
Some of your suggestions are likely to get highlighted on CMC between now and Easter.
What's out there?
Last year I started a discipline here that I liked, but dropped the ball on.
This year, I'm attempting to improve.
I'm going to highlight 40 good causes — one a day for each of the days of Lent (so, one each day of Ash Wednesday through Holy Saturday, skipping Sundays) in a weekly roundup post on Sundays.
Here's your chance to influence me.
Share in the comments below (or on Facebook) whatever good causes are your favorites right now — nonprofits especially, but also Kickstarters for people doing good work, etc. Share as many as you like; include a description if you like, include a link if you can. Feel free to share things you're personally connected to, organizations you give money to, groups you serve as a volunteer, groups that have helped you when you needed it, whatever. Secular and religious are equally welcome, and religious certainly includes non-Christian.
Some of your suggestions are likely to get highlighted on CMC between now and Easter.
What's out there?
Monday, December 30, 2013
A reading rainbow
Do you find there's so much on the internet you don't have time to read it all?
Does that lead to you opening a tab for each and then not getting back to them sometimes for a looooong time?
Hey, me, too.
This weekend, I was very, very sick. Today, I am better, but have been taking it easy on the couch. And catching up on the whole internet. And I think part of why I keep those tabs open is that I keep meaning to not only read them, but share them with an appropriate audience.
Hey, appropriate audience.
Seriously, all of these links likely aren't for any of you, but if you can't find something here that interests you, what are you reading?
Does that lead to you opening a tab for each and then not getting back to them sometimes for a looooong time?
Hey, me, too.
This weekend, I was very, very sick. Today, I am better, but have been taking it easy on the couch. And catching up on the whole internet. And I think part of why I keep those tabs open is that I keep meaning to not only read them, but share them with an appropriate audience.
Hey, appropriate audience.
Seriously, all of these links likely aren't for any of you, but if you can't find something here that interests you, what are you reading?
- Now-defunct Biblical theme park in Connecticut
- House mouse prevention and control
- How My Past As A Black Woman Informs Me As A Black Male Feminist
- Principality of Sealand
- Top 100 Greatest Gay Movies
- Why it's Awesome to be a Nerd
- John Tyler still has two living grandchildren
- 1942 ‘Time Capsule’ Apartment Discovered In Paris
- Perfect Love Casts Out Fear
- Read the "Stomach-Churning" Sexual Assault Accusations Against R. Kelly in Full
- Stop Hurting America With Unnecessary Teaser Questions
- So What About The LGBTQ People Who Don't Want To Get Married?
- The Choice To Be Childfree
- 9 Out Of 10 Americans Are Completely Wrong About This Mind-Blowing Fact
- 21 Things '80s Kids' Did That Would Horrify Us Now
- Cockblocking Rapists Is A Moral Obligation; or, How To Stop Rape Right Now
- The Top 30 Beauty Secrets from the People Who Know Best
- How Slam-Dunking, Gender-Bending WNBA Rookie Brittney Griner is Changing the world of Sports
- Isolation Cannot Heal Isolation: One Survivors Response to Sexual Assault
OK, so now I read (and closed) all those tabs. What are you reading?
Friday, December 20, 2013
Friday, November 1, 2013
Just folk like me
November 1 is traditionally the beginning of my month of gratitude, and this November 1 is no different in that regard.
I am lucky to have a few excellent people who've signed on to be guest bloggers this month (though I'm open to more if you're interested), but most of the posts will still be mine.
Last year, I wrote a little about how November 1 is also All Saints' Day, and I will say this about that: Wikipedia is a wealth of information and also excellent turns of phrase on the subjects of saints and "I Sing a Song of the Saints of God."
So let's go back to that hymn from last year. The gist of it, basically, is, "I could do that."
And it's true.
And people love it. In fact, according to Wikipedia, "The hymn remains a popular favourite with American churchgoers who have grown up with it. In a 2003 survey of 'desert island' hymns run by the website anglicansonline.org, the hymn was voted 14th."
Now, there's kind of a lot going on in that last sentence, and I do not know what a desert island hymn is (I mean, I can guess, but — is that a thing?), but it's a pretty neat thing that a hymn written to suggest to children that the world is full of good and holy people and that there's no reason for said children not to do the same is that popular, especially when we sing it once a year, pretty much.
There's a lot of crap in the world. And say what you want, Hymnal 1982 committee, about that hymn's alleged lack of theological profundity, but that idea — that goodness is real and present in our lives, and to be emulated — does not feel so shallow to me.
Day 1 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful for the saints as they are evident to me in my life, for those who are role models and teachers and sources of benevolence, for those who reflect or connect the divine to us, for the patient, the brave, and the true.
Hey, if you're new around here and not sure how you feel about this religious mumbo-jumbo, please stick around. I don't always talk about saints. Sometimes, I talk about radical politics or animals in buildings or food that makes me angry. Often, I tell funny stories at my expense. Poke around; there's really something for everyone.
I am lucky to have a few excellent people who've signed on to be guest bloggers this month (though I'm open to more if you're interested), but most of the posts will still be mine.
Last year, I wrote a little about how November 1 is also All Saints' Day, and I will say this about that: Wikipedia is a wealth of information and also excellent turns of phrase on the subjects of saints and "I Sing a Song of the Saints of God."
So let's go back to that hymn from last year. The gist of it, basically, is, "I could do that."
And it's true.
And people love it. In fact, according to Wikipedia, "The hymn remains a popular favourite with American churchgoers who have grown up with it. In a 2003 survey of 'desert island' hymns run by the website anglicansonline.org, the hymn was voted 14th."
Now, there's kind of a lot going on in that last sentence, and I do not know what a desert island hymn is (I mean, I can guess, but — is that a thing?), but it's a pretty neat thing that a hymn written to suggest to children that the world is full of good and holy people and that there's no reason for said children not to do the same is that popular, especially when we sing it once a year, pretty much.
There's a lot of crap in the world. And say what you want, Hymnal 1982 committee, about that hymn's alleged lack of theological profundity, but that idea — that goodness is real and present in our lives, and to be emulated — does not feel so shallow to me.
Day 1 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful for the saints as they are evident to me in my life, for those who are role models and teachers and sources of benevolence, for those who reflect or connect the divine to us, for the patient, the brave, and the true.
Hey, if you're new around here and not sure how you feel about this religious mumbo-jumbo, please stick around. I don't always talk about saints. Sometimes, I talk about radical politics or animals in buildings or food that makes me angry. Often, I tell funny stories at my expense. Poke around; there's really something for everyone.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Sentence of the day, damp Easter edition
I went to church last night and this morning, as I do, and we sang "Come, ye faithful, raise the strain," which contains one of my favorite phrases: "led them with unmoistened foot..."
It tickles me every year.
This year, though? Not the phrase that tickled me most. Oh, it tickled me, as it always does.
But then, a few hours later, my extended family and I were sitting at the table, eating a wonderful Easter feast of lamb and asparagus and rice and salad and lemon crumb cake. And my sister spoke to her son, my beautiful not-quite-two-year-old nephew, and a new, not unrelated, favorite phrase for the day was born.
"Don't lick your sock."
It tickles me still.
It tickles me every year.
This year, though? Not the phrase that tickled me most. Oh, it tickled me, as it always does.
But then, a few hours later, my extended family and I were sitting at the table, eating a wonderful Easter feast of lamb and asparagus and rice and salad and lemon crumb cake. And my sister spoke to her son, my beautiful not-quite-two-year-old nephew, and a new, not unrelated, favorite phrase for the day was born.
"Don't lick your sock."
It tickles me still.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Giving Up: Third Sunday of Lent
I fell down on the job a lot this week, I hate to say.
Day 11: Call an old friend. I posted to Facebook:
Day 12: Pray the Paper (pray for people and situations in today’s news). I sort of forgot to do this and so did it on Day 16 instead. Here's some of what was in the news that day:
OK, to be fair, I didn't actually pray over that last one, but it was interesting to think about, right?
Day 13: Read Psalm 139. I did, and shared it with a friend, too, a day later. Those of you who also did, or who are following along now, that one ends sort of weird, right? What do you make of it?
Day 14: Pay a few sincere compliments. I did this, and tried to focus on accomplishment, rather than appearance. It seemed to go over well. People like that stuff. Who knew? (I also attempted to go to Goodwill again, and failed, again.) I did it some more the next day, too, because it worked so well. On that next day, I also encountered this article in Forbes on "7 Ways You're Hurting Your Daughter's Future,"* which claims doing so will also make my niece richer, which I am all for, because someone needs to care for Auntie Bzzzzgrrrl in her old age.
Day 15: Bring your own mug. I don't really use mugs except at home, so maybe I'm missing the point of this one. Do they mean bring my own mug to a coffee shop where they think I'd buy coffee, so I wouldn't waste a paper cup? I guess that's probably what they mean. I don't drink coffee. I did go to friends' house for dinner, and was pretty sure I'd be offered tea or coffee after dinner, so brought my own mug for just that purpose. Then I was able to explain to my friends, who are a minister and a seminarian, and we all amused ourselves for a while. Maybe the idea of this is to do something amusing. Probably not.
Day 16: Educate yourself about human trafficking. Boy howdy, did I. I read a 30-page report on human trafficking in my state. There's a lot to know. Coincidentally, one of my favorite feminist bloggers came out of semi-retirement to talk about her shifting views on sex work. There is, unsurprisingly, a lot more cussing in that post, but it's interesting reading.
This week, a colleague I don't know well asked about the whole giving things up for Lent thing, and suggested that taking Sundays off from that practice was basically cheating. He was mostly asking a Catholic mutual friend of ours about her opinion, which did not stop me from chiming right in. I explained that Lent is actually 46 days long, so that we can take Sundays off and still do 40 days of whatever Lenten observance we're doing.
"Seriously?" he said. "Canon law?"
"It's not so much canon law as it is basic math," I said.**
*... which title I take exception with, because I am pretty sure it's the patriarchy that's hurting your daughter's future, and the fact that there may be small thingsparents mothers (seriously; see #5. This future-daughter-harming is ALL MOM) can do to mitigate the damage does not, I'm pretty sure, make it their fault.
**The rest of this interaction actually did happen, but I did not actually crack out the basic math line, because I only thought of it moments later, and I'm pretty glad about that, because while it's both true and funny, it also would have been rude in the moment, a little, I think.
Day 11: Call an old friend. I posted to Facebook:
[bzzzzgrrrl] has been instructed to call an old friend today. If you would like to be that old friend, private message me your phone number. Priority given to those who can receive a call between 5:30 and 6:30 this evening, or between 9 and 10 tonight.Two people requested calls, and they were two of only a tiny handful of "old friends" with whom I am in very regular contact already. I called one between 5:30 and 6:30 and the other between 9 and 10, and tried to call a couple of others but got no answers. It was nice, though, to connect, to hear voices to love and be loved by people who have known me since I was a much younger adult.
Day 12: Pray the Paper (pray for people and situations in today’s news). I sort of forgot to do this and so did it on Day 16 instead. Here's some of what was in the news that day:
- The sequester
- Bonnie Franklin's passing
- The sinkhole in Florida
- Feeding antibiotics to livestock is a bad idea
- Someone's been charged in Marco McMillan's murder
- Kenyans are voting for a new president
- People support marriage equality
- China (almost) executes people on TV
- Marshmallow eggs don't turn out to have salmonella
- Ralph Macchio is now the same age Pat Morita was in the first Karate Kid
OK, to be fair, I didn't actually pray over that last one, but it was interesting to think about, right?
Day 13: Read Psalm 139. I did, and shared it with a friend, too, a day later. Those of you who also did, or who are following along now, that one ends sort of weird, right? What do you make of it?
Day 14: Pay a few sincere compliments. I did this, and tried to focus on accomplishment, rather than appearance. It seemed to go over well. People like that stuff. Who knew? (I also attempted to go to Goodwill again, and failed, again.) I did it some more the next day, too, because it worked so well. On that next day, I also encountered this article in Forbes on "7 Ways You're Hurting Your Daughter's Future,"* which claims doing so will also make my niece richer, which I am all for, because someone needs to care for Auntie Bzzzzgrrrl in her old age.
Day 15: Bring your own mug. I don't really use mugs except at home, so maybe I'm missing the point of this one. Do they mean bring my own mug to a coffee shop where they think I'd buy coffee, so I wouldn't waste a paper cup? I guess that's probably what they mean. I don't drink coffee. I did go to friends' house for dinner, and was pretty sure I'd be offered tea or coffee after dinner, so brought my own mug for just that purpose. Then I was able to explain to my friends, who are a minister and a seminarian, and we all amused ourselves for a while. Maybe the idea of this is to do something amusing. Probably not.
Day 16: Educate yourself about human trafficking. Boy howdy, did I. I read a 30-page report on human trafficking in my state. There's a lot to know. Coincidentally, one of my favorite feminist bloggers came out of semi-retirement to talk about her shifting views on sex work. There is, unsurprisingly, a lot more cussing in that post, but it's interesting reading.
This week, a colleague I don't know well asked about the whole giving things up for Lent thing, and suggested that taking Sundays off from that practice was basically cheating. He was mostly asking a Catholic mutual friend of ours about her opinion, which did not stop me from chiming right in. I explained that Lent is actually 46 days long, so that we can take Sundays off and still do 40 days of whatever Lenten observance we're doing.
"Seriously?" he said. "Canon law?"
"It's not so much canon law as it is basic math," I said.**
*... which title I take exception with, because I am pretty sure it's the patriarchy that's hurting your daughter's future, and the fact that there may be small things
**The rest of this interaction actually did happen, but I did not actually crack out the basic math line, because I only thought of it moments later, and I'm pretty glad about that, because while it's both true and funny, it also would have been rude in the moment, a little, I think.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Giving up: Second Sunday of Lent
Day 5: Take 5 minutes of silence at noon. The challenge of this one was in distinguishing it from the rest of my day.
I live alone, work largely in solitude, have an office door I can and sometimes do close. I am often silent, and the people and things around me are not so noisy.
But at noon, I made sure my office door was closed, and I turned my back on both door and computer, and closed my eyes. I blocked out not only the literal noise, but some of the figurative noise: the fluorescent lights and the temptation to type or read, even the snowy view out my office window.
I thought about lots of things — about who, if anyone, was likely to come to my door anyway, about how my thumbs felt rubbing against each other, about romantic prospects and what the longest commute I've had feels like — and on and on.
A meditation teacher I had once told me not to worry about actually quieting your mind, but to observe what thoughts intrude on your observation of the moment. All the thoughts intruded this time, aside, I suppose, from the thumb thing.
Day 6: Look out the window until you find something of beauty you had not noticed before. Without my glasses on, the green sign for the drive-through window at the bank across the street from my chiropractor's office is almost magical.
Day 7: Give 5 items of clothing to Goodwill. OMG I tried.
So, here's the thing. There's no Goodwill anywhere near me. There is a Salvation Army, which is anti-gay, so I don't support them. There are some of those yellow Planet Aid boxes, but Planet Aid is shady and also arguably a cult. There are some worthy-cause thrift stores, but they are open inconvenient hours (while I'm at work).
And there is a Goodwill about an hour from where I live. So a friend and I drove down there with a big bag of clothes to donate. We checked the hours first, of course, and the Goodwill site claimed Goodwill was open until 9. It was not. It was in fact open until 6, as we discovered when we arrived at 8:30.
So we got a drink instead, which felt a little less Lent-y. I'll get the clothes to the St. James thrift shop at lunchtime one day this week.
Day 8: No bitching day. I'm writing this paragraph before this day happens, and before I write this part of the post, as a disclaimer: I have a real problem with the word "bitching" used this way. I do not think it is accidental that the word used to minimize people's complaints is a gendered one. We can have a big discussion of this in the comments if you want, but, lest I be dismissed as "bitching" on "No bitching day," I thought I should put it out there. That said, I will attempt to refrain from unnecessary complaining, and to evaluate what is unnecessary complaining. I assume that's the real spirit of this one. Yes, I see the irony of leading off with a complaint. Why do you think I wrote this paragraph in advance?
Also, in college, one of my favorite songs was Joe Walsh's "Life's Been Good," largely because it contained one of my favorite lyrics: "I can't complain, but sometimes I still do."
Also, a couple of Lents ago, I was given a purple wristband as a no-complaining device. The idea is that you wear it and switch wrists when you catch yourself complaining, until you can go all day without switching wrists at all. I wore it on Day 8 as an aid.
I caught myself probably complaining unnecessarily three times. The first two, I turned around quickly into a "look at the bright side" situation. The third was at almost 11 p.m., after I'd taken off the wristband, and I was in the middle of a large and inappropriate tirade regarding something that is none of my business before I caught myself, at which point I stopped, apologized to the person I was talking to (who was clearly uncomfortable), and felt icky about it. Still do, in a way I might not have if I hadn't been so focused on it.
Am I the only one who has to stop for a second to think about whether expressing any vaguely negative thought at all counts? I guess I am all for encouraging more positivity, and am glad I had to stop and think about it, but I'm a bigger fan of "It should be at least two out of three of: nice, honest, necessary," than I am of "No bitching." Was that right there "bitching"?
Day 9: Do someone else’s chore. Who is this "someone else" of whom you speak, who does chores? I did drop off a friend's electronics recycling for her, which saved her a few steps, and I made dinner for some friends. I hope that all counts.
Day 10: Buy a few $5 fast food gift cards to give to homeless people you encounter. On Day 10, I was in Portland, Maine, stage managing a play. It was fun, but busy, and I had no opportunity to go to a fast food restaurant or seek out homeless people. I'm also feeling a little morally conflicted about this one, for a couple of reasons. I'll think about it and make it up somehow.
I live alone, work largely in solitude, have an office door I can and sometimes do close. I am often silent, and the people and things around me are not so noisy.
But at noon, I made sure my office door was closed, and I turned my back on both door and computer, and closed my eyes. I blocked out not only the literal noise, but some of the figurative noise: the fluorescent lights and the temptation to type or read, even the snowy view out my office window.
I thought about lots of things — about who, if anyone, was likely to come to my door anyway, about how my thumbs felt rubbing against each other, about romantic prospects and what the longest commute I've had feels like — and on and on.
A meditation teacher I had once told me not to worry about actually quieting your mind, but to observe what thoughts intrude on your observation of the moment. All the thoughts intruded this time, aside, I suppose, from the thumb thing.
Day 6: Look out the window until you find something of beauty you had not noticed before. Without my glasses on, the green sign for the drive-through window at the bank across the street from my chiropractor's office is almost magical.
Day 7: Give 5 items of clothing to Goodwill. OMG I tried.
So, here's the thing. There's no Goodwill anywhere near me. There is a Salvation Army, which is anti-gay, so I don't support them. There are some of those yellow Planet Aid boxes, but Planet Aid is shady and also arguably a cult. There are some worthy-cause thrift stores, but they are open inconvenient hours (while I'm at work).
And there is a Goodwill about an hour from where I live. So a friend and I drove down there with a big bag of clothes to donate. We checked the hours first, of course, and the Goodwill site claimed Goodwill was open until 9. It was not. It was in fact open until 6, as we discovered when we arrived at 8:30.
So we got a drink instead, which felt a little less Lent-y. I'll get the clothes to the St. James thrift shop at lunchtime one day this week.
Day 8: No bitching day. I'm writing this paragraph before this day happens, and before I write this part of the post, as a disclaimer: I have a real problem with the word "bitching" used this way. I do not think it is accidental that the word used to minimize people's complaints is a gendered one. We can have a big discussion of this in the comments if you want, but, lest I be dismissed as "bitching" on "No bitching day," I thought I should put it out there. That said, I will attempt to refrain from unnecessary complaining, and to evaluate what is unnecessary complaining. I assume that's the real spirit of this one. Yes, I see the irony of leading off with a complaint. Why do you think I wrote this paragraph in advance?
Also, in college, one of my favorite songs was Joe Walsh's "Life's Been Good," largely because it contained one of my favorite lyrics: "I can't complain, but sometimes I still do."
Also, a couple of Lents ago, I was given a purple wristband as a no-complaining device. The idea is that you wear it and switch wrists when you catch yourself complaining, until you can go all day without switching wrists at all. I wore it on Day 8 as an aid.
I caught myself probably complaining unnecessarily three times. The first two, I turned around quickly into a "look at the bright side" situation. The third was at almost 11 p.m., after I'd taken off the wristband, and I was in the middle of a large and inappropriate tirade regarding something that is none of my business before I caught myself, at which point I stopped, apologized to the person I was talking to (who was clearly uncomfortable), and felt icky about it. Still do, in a way I might not have if I hadn't been so focused on it.
Am I the only one who has to stop for a second to think about whether expressing any vaguely negative thought at all counts? I guess I am all for encouraging more positivity, and am glad I had to stop and think about it, but I'm a bigger fan of "It should be at least two out of three of: nice, honest, necessary," than I am of "No bitching." Was that right there "bitching"?
Day 9: Do someone else’s chore. Who is this "someone else" of whom you speak, who does chores? I did drop off a friend's electronics recycling for her, which saved her a few steps, and I made dinner for some friends. I hope that all counts.
Day 10: Buy a few $5 fast food gift cards to give to homeless people you encounter. On Day 10, I was in Portland, Maine, stage managing a play. It was fun, but busy, and I had no opportunity to go to a fast food restaurant or seek out homeless people. I'm also feeling a little morally conflicted about this one, for a couple of reasons. I'll think about it and make it up somehow.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Giving Up: First Sunday of Lent
You would not believe the number of half-baked Lenten puns I had to dismiss for the title of this post. Maybe I'll try to work 'em in as we progress through the series.
Day 1: Pray for your enemies. I literally woke up thinking about this one, about two hours before I actually needed to be awake, so I lay in bed and thought about it.
Who, exactly, are my "enemies"? I thought immediately of one person who seems to be vying for the title, so I prayed for her, and then I was sort of stumped. I drifted in and out of sleep for a while, waking periodically to pray for people who'd irritated me recently, for things I didn't like, for myself (which is either very sad or very deep, or both, and I am still unclear which). The day before Day 1 (Day 0?) was a rough one, filled with frustrations, though ended with a really nice in-person conversation with a friend, and a couple of differently nice online chats with other friends. The roughness of the day before was still very fresh in my mind in those early morning hours, and my prayers were a little jumbled and desperate. I prayed for all kinds of things. Eventually, I decided Westboro Baptist "Church" was a reasonable enemy to pray for, and I prayed that they might find some peace in their hearts.
Then I spent the rest of the day thinking about it. Who are my enemies? For whom should I still pray? Anyone who gets in my way? Anyone who gets in my way on purpose?
I did not come to clear conclusions, but I did pray for a lot of people.
Also, thinking about who your enemies are is a weird way to spend a day.
Day 2: Don’t turn on the car radio. This was actually supposed to be Day 3's task, but it was impractical to "walk, carpool, bike or bus it" this particular day, so I swapped them around. The huge advantage to this is that I spent the day without all the sap or whininess of Valentine's Day — at least on the radio (Facebook is another story).
I had more than two hours of driving on windy country roads in the dark in silence — I felt inclined to turn on the radio several times, but managed not to succumb. Hey, alone in the wild.
Day 3: Walk, carpool, bike or bus it. I walked to work this Day 3 morning, and here's the thing: sidewalks in small-town New England a few days after a major snowstorm are sometimes snowy, which is good, because, traction. This particular morning? Slick, slick ice. I walked out for lunch on slightly less slick ice, and took advantage of the opportunity to catch a ride home with a friend I have not seen enough of lately.
Day 4: Give $20 to a non-profit of your choosing. I did. I spent the weekend with dear friends, and had a conversation that decided for me between two nonprofit concerns.
Is there harm in contributing to a worthy cause partly out of spite? Does it make a difference if I was going to give to one of these two organizations anyway, and just decided which one based on someone saying something that irritated me?
Aw, criminy. Of course there is. I'm off to give $20 to the other nonprofit, too.
Day 1: Pray for your enemies. I literally woke up thinking about this one, about two hours before I actually needed to be awake, so I lay in bed and thought about it.
Who, exactly, are my "enemies"? I thought immediately of one person who seems to be vying for the title, so I prayed for her, and then I was sort of stumped. I drifted in and out of sleep for a while, waking periodically to pray for people who'd irritated me recently, for things I didn't like, for myself (which is either very sad or very deep, or both, and I am still unclear which). The day before Day 1 (Day 0?) was a rough one, filled with frustrations, though ended with a really nice in-person conversation with a friend, and a couple of differently nice online chats with other friends. The roughness of the day before was still very fresh in my mind in those early morning hours, and my prayers were a little jumbled and desperate. I prayed for all kinds of things. Eventually, I decided Westboro Baptist "Church" was a reasonable enemy to pray for, and I prayed that they might find some peace in their hearts.
Then I spent the rest of the day thinking about it. Who are my enemies? For whom should I still pray? Anyone who gets in my way? Anyone who gets in my way on purpose?
I did not come to clear conclusions, but I did pray for a lot of people.
Also, thinking about who your enemies are is a weird way to spend a day.
Day 2: Don’t turn on the car radio. This was actually supposed to be Day 3's task, but it was impractical to "walk, carpool, bike or bus it" this particular day, so I swapped them around. The huge advantage to this is that I spent the day without all the sap or whininess of Valentine's Day — at least on the radio (Facebook is another story).
I had more than two hours of driving on windy country roads in the dark in silence — I felt inclined to turn on the radio several times, but managed not to succumb. Hey, alone in the wild.
Day 3: Walk, carpool, bike or bus it. I walked to work this Day 3 morning, and here's the thing: sidewalks in small-town New England a few days after a major snowstorm are sometimes snowy, which is good, because, traction. This particular morning? Slick, slick ice. I walked out for lunch on slightly less slick ice, and took advantage of the opportunity to catch a ride home with a friend I have not seen enough of lately.
Day 4: Give $20 to a non-profit of your choosing. I did. I spent the weekend with dear friends, and had a conversation that decided for me between two nonprofit concerns.
Is there harm in contributing to a worthy cause partly out of spite? Does it make a difference if I was going to give to one of these two organizations anyway, and just decided which one based on someone saying something that irritated me?
Aw, criminy. Of course there is. I'm off to give $20 to the other nonprofit, too.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Smudged
[Note: Sigh. Another communication fail. I wrote this yesterday, perhaps obviously, but forgot to post until now.]
I posted this to the CMC Facebook page the other day: House for All Sinners and Saints’ 40 Ideas for Keeping a Holy Lent.
If you are someone who observes Lent, it is well worth a read, because it contains some neat ideas. If you are someone who does not and is inclined to think of Christians as kind of a bunch of hypocrites, I hope you'll take a look so you can see that some people are trying to walk the talk. If you are in any category of observance and find yourself getting vaguely and inexplicably annoyed when you hear people talking about giving up chocolate or red meat*, it's sort of an antidote to that, too. (My friend the Rev. Emily C. Heath wrote another great antidote, too.)
I liked the House for All Sinners and Saints idea enough that I'm going to do it, modifying as necessary, and I'll write about how it's going on Sundays. So that's coming up.
Communication's been hard for me lately, I think, which is to say, my computer at work is broken and also I keep having these complicated conversations. I owe several people very important notes or conversations. I also have four half-written blog posts in the drafts folder. I'm also not attempting to explain Lent or Ash Wednesday for those who might like or need explanations, because I feel confident you can find something on the internet that'll do better than I would.
But for a sec, let's talk. Whether you do Lent or not, when do you feel alone in the wilderness, and what are the connotations of that for you? When you need to refocus on what's important, how do you do that?
* I am in this category for no good reason whatever. If giving up chocolate works for you, you should do it. My reaction is as irrelevant as it is nonsensical.
I posted this to the CMC Facebook page the other day: House for All Sinners and Saints’ 40 Ideas for Keeping a Holy Lent.
If you are someone who observes Lent, it is well worth a read, because it contains some neat ideas. If you are someone who does not and is inclined to think of Christians as kind of a bunch of hypocrites, I hope you'll take a look so you can see that some people are trying to walk the talk. If you are in any category of observance and find yourself getting vaguely and inexplicably annoyed when you hear people talking about giving up chocolate or red meat*, it's sort of an antidote to that, too. (My friend the Rev. Emily C. Heath wrote another great antidote, too.)
I liked the House for All Sinners and Saints idea enough that I'm going to do it, modifying as necessary, and I'll write about how it's going on Sundays. So that's coming up.
Communication's been hard for me lately, I think, which is to say, my computer at work is broken and also I keep having these complicated conversations. I owe several people very important notes or conversations. I also have four half-written blog posts in the drafts folder. I'm also not attempting to explain Lent or Ash Wednesday for those who might like or need explanations, because I feel confident you can find something on the internet that'll do better than I would.
But for a sec, let's talk. Whether you do Lent or not, when do you feel alone in the wilderness, and what are the connotations of that for you? When you need to refocus on what's important, how do you do that?
* I am in this category for no good reason whatever. If giving up chocolate works for you, you should do it. My reaction is as irrelevant as it is nonsensical.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
In with the new
In a very short span of time, a few things happened:
- I got a gift card for new running shoes for Christmas
- I got a gift card for a 60-minute massage for Christmas
- A college friend who is a much more, er, renowned writer than I posted this to Facebook: "Creative work takes energy so writers: pamper yourselves a bit. Do something fun. Eat ice cream. Go for a walk. See a wacky movie. Serious work demands serious play. The two, in fact, are one."
- I was invited to exactly two New Year's Eve gatherings: "Self-Care in the New Year for the Surly Hearted" and a latenight guided meditation followed by yoga followed by breath work. (I went to the former. Obviously.)
So, OK, got it. I do not know whether it's the people in my life or God or the universe (or some combination) trying to tell me something, but the message is clear. And apt.
So, here's what I've done in 2013 so far:
- enjoyed the company of lovely people
- set some intentions
- drunk mead and whiskey (both in moderation)
- watched movies
- played games
- asked questions
- answered questions
- snuggled with a very sweet puppy
- cooked up, shared, and eaten a bunch of hoppin' john with greens for both luck and deliciousness
- read a little Francesca Lia Block
- hiked in the snow
- said some stuff that needed to be said
- eaten some long noodles, also for both luck and deliciousness
- reconnected with a couple of far-off loved ones
- prayed
Oh, and then I fell asleep at 6-something this evening and woke up several times expecting it to be the wee hours, except it wasn't and still isn't, so then I changed out of the clothes I crashed in and stayed up a little and wrote a blog post.
Still, not a bad beginning to the year. What restorative things are you doing?
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Also: Since when are "joyous strains" "brave delights"?
Christmas was mostly lovely. I hope yours was as lovely as could reasonably be expected — I know this is not an easy time for many folks.
I had one moment of feminist/churchy/musical embarrassment, about which exactly one of you will care, but I'll share it anyway, because, you know, funny stories at my expense, that's what we specialize in around here.
I went to church both late Christmas Eve and early Christmas morning with my dad.
There's so much great music that we only sing for these twelve or thirteen days of the year. My dad has a beautiful singing voice, and likes to show off, and it's just really great fun to sing next to him in church. I also happen to like Christmas morning church, for lots of reasons both religious and sentimental.
So this morning, we get to the final hymn of the service, known to many as "Good Christian Men, Rejoice!" In the "new" version of the hymnal, the lyrics have actually been changed to "Good Christian Friends, Rejoice!" (An old family friend, now also a priest, used to tell me that the hymn was originally addressed to men because thy're the ones who need reminding.) Anyway, for whatever reason, some part of me, so familiar with that hymn, forgot about the change and just belted out (joyfully) "Good Christian men, rejoy-hoy-hoice" — and I was appropriately horrified to hear myself sing it as I heard everyone around me sing the gender-neutral version and looked down at my hymnal. I feel like I owe every feminist Christian, including my mother and godmother, plus the committee that put together the improved hymnal, plus my redeemer and savior, an apology.
Afterward, I asked my father if he'd noticed my error. He had not, presumably having been enjoying his own singing too much to be listening overly much to mine.
"Well, the new hymnal's only been around for 30 years; I can't be expected to remember every improvement," I said. "Seriously, in that moment, I just completely forgot that it had ever been fixed."
"As one would a dog," said my dad.
Not bad for operating on about 5 hours' sleep, I thought.
I had one moment of feminist/churchy/musical embarrassment, about which exactly one of you will care, but I'll share it anyway, because, you know, funny stories at my expense, that's what we specialize in around here.
I went to church both late Christmas Eve and early Christmas morning with my dad.
There's so much great music that we only sing for these twelve or thirteen days of the year. My dad has a beautiful singing voice, and likes to show off, and it's just really great fun to sing next to him in church. I also happen to like Christmas morning church, for lots of reasons both religious and sentimental.
So this morning, we get to the final hymn of the service, known to many as "Good Christian Men, Rejoice!" In the "new" version of the hymnal, the lyrics have actually been changed to "Good Christian Friends, Rejoice!" (An old family friend, now also a priest, used to tell me that the hymn was originally addressed to men because thy're the ones who need reminding.) Anyway, for whatever reason, some part of me, so familiar with that hymn, forgot about the change and just belted out (joyfully) "Good Christian men, rejoy-hoy-hoice" — and I was appropriately horrified to hear myself sing it as I heard everyone around me sing the gender-neutral version and looked down at my hymnal. I feel like I owe every feminist Christian, including my mother and godmother, plus the committee that put together the improved hymnal, plus my redeemer and savior, an apology.
Afterward, I asked my father if he'd noticed my error. He had not, presumably having been enjoying his own singing too much to be listening overly much to mine.
"Well, the new hymnal's only been around for 30 years; I can't be expected to remember every improvement," I said. "Seriously, in that moment, I just completely forgot that it had ever been fixed."
"As one would a dog," said my dad.
Not bad for operating on about 5 hours' sleep, I thought.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Sending hope for peace on earth
I had hoped to spend this solstice morning on a sunrise hike, as I did at the summer solstice (note: winter solstice sunrise is WAY LATER than summer solstice sunrise). However, the weather was not interested in cooperating with me.
I did get up early on this shortest day of the year, which meant I got to see the beautiful blanket of snow that had fallen overnight before it turned to rain and washed away.
Now I'll go shopping and chuck the ingredients I'll buy into the Crock-Pot to prepare for the solstice pot luck I'll attend tonight. Before I leave for work today, I'll have done about as much solstice preparation as Advent/Christmas preparation, despite being a Christian.
That preparation included helping the friends hosting tonight's pot luck string popcorn for their solstice tree, and appreciating watching their young son place a Charles Darwin puppet atop the tree. I was reminded at the time of Dar Williams's "The Christians and the Pagans," and at least one of you was, too, when I posted about it on Facebook.
And yeah, I've shared this one before, but it seemed like time to share it again.
I did get up early on this shortest day of the year, which meant I got to see the beautiful blanket of snow that had fallen overnight before it turned to rain and washed away.
Now I'll go shopping and chuck the ingredients I'll buy into the Crock-Pot to prepare for the solstice pot luck I'll attend tonight. Before I leave for work today, I'll have done about as much solstice preparation as Advent/Christmas preparation, despite being a Christian.
That preparation included helping the friends hosting tonight's pot luck string popcorn for their solstice tree, and appreciating watching their young son place a Charles Darwin puppet atop the tree. I was reminded at the time of Dar Williams's "The Christians and the Pagans," and at least one of you was, too, when I posted about it on Facebook.
And yeah, I've shared this one before, but it seemed like time to share it again.
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