Monday, December 8, 2014

Shaming Santa

WARNING: This post is inappropriate for younger readers. Younger readers, if you read past this point, you may find things you do not want to find.

OK, so I'm just going to admit it.

I don't understand what's supposed to be happening in the world of the song, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus."

Like, does the kid think she's caught her mother cheating with Santa, but really, it's her dad dressed up as Santa, so, adorable? If so, why would parents go to the length of dressing up for their sneaky kid only to break the magic by making out?

Or in the song, is Santa real, and the kid has actually caught her mother cheating with Santa?

Or is someone else dressed up as Santa?

In any case, why does the kid think it would have been a laugh if her father had only seen?

Is the context putting presents under the tree? Or some kind of grown-up party the kid's supposed to be in bed for?

Does kissing Santa not count, because he's Santa?

Or does kissing under the mistletoe not count, because it's festive? This is the only explanation that makes any sense to me at all, though even there, the tickling is just weird, right?

Maybe Mommy and Daddy and Santa are in some form of polyamorous relationship, which everyone's fine with, but then why's the kid making such a big deal out of it?

Seriously, this song has troubled me literally since I still believed in Santa, and I haven't figured out anything that makes it less troubling since. Fortunately, I mostly forget it exists. But once I hear it once (and I did, Saturday, in a nail salon), it's enough of an earworm that it bugs me for weeks. If any of you folks has anything that can resolve this, I'd welcome it.


Anonymous said...

That song, and Grandma got run over by a reindeer, always bothered me.

Don't worry your pretty little head dear about these questions. Just use it to screen new potential friends: "Do you get this song or think it us funny? Yes? Oh, then we won't be friends."


icanhasyarn said...

I always took it to mean that it was Daddy dressed up as Santa, but the kid just didn't know it. This site agrees: (click the lyrics in blue).

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I'm not the only who is disturbed by this song -- always have been.

Either the kid knows that Santa and Dad are the same, so the whole thing is kind of a joke about pretending to believe in Santa, or the kid is entirely too cavalier about the potential demise of their family.

And yes, if the guy is Dad, why is he wearing a Santa suit in his own house? It must be a party, right.

I'm glad you've raised these crucial questions!