Thoughts while buying my mother's birthday present

Some of you in more citified or western parts may not have heard of Agway, which is too bad, because I love Agway. Agway describes itself as "Lawn, Garden, Pet, Bird and Farm Specialists," which is about right. You can buy chicks, and dog food, and fertilizer, and ant poison, and rose bushes, and a shed, and a bunny hutch, and a roof rake, and and and and and. Great store.
So, just so you know, if you went in just for a sec to buy someone you love a gift card, and you found yourself looking at the "impulse buy" stuff by the register, you might find yourself looking at the pet tags, and you might observe one that is pink and sparkly, with "Sexy" written on it.
Here are my two thoughts on that:

• Do not not not buy your pet a tag that suggests that it is sexy. If a person wears a t-shirt that says, "sexy," there is some question about who procured the t-shirt, and therefore whether it is the wearer or some admirer who thinks the wearer is sexy. If a pet is wearing a tag that says, "sexy," everyone knows it was a human who bought the tag, and you will creep people the hell out if you tell the world you think your pet is sexy.
• If you decide to write a blog post on pet tags that say, "sexy," do not search the internet for "pet tags sexy." There are creepy people out there, and they have posted to the internet already. Some of you may be reading this post because you went looking for some similar term on Google. Sorry both to call you creepy and to disappoint you with the content of this post. I do still think you're creepy, but you don't need that kind of abuse, you have bigger problems. Please feel free to look around City Mouse Country (ugh; the name of my own blog now grosses me out a little) and see if there's other content you find hilarious and entertaining. I am pretty sure none of it is creepy, though my regular readers will probably correct me with links in the comments.