Friday, March 11, 2011


I do not know how to tell this any better than in Facebook status and comments. I am changing names, but preserving my own (and everyone's) horrible panicked typing and confusing crosstalk. This thread starts after 11:30 p.m. my time, and at the same time for all but two of the participants, who are two or three hours behind.
[bzzzzgrrrl]: is suddenly VERY ALERT because there is a possum in my house somehow and I have no phone to call one of you and wake you up so you'll tell me what to do. WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?

[Friend 1]: hahah are you serious?? its in your house??!!

[bzzzzgrrrl]: It is in my house.

[Friend 1]: OMG.... hmmmmmm.. any of your neighbors awake??!!

[Friend 2, who is on a bowling team that will be in a league with mine]: Play possum.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: honestly, i am too freaked out to leave this room to find out.

[Friend 1]: hahaha [Friend 2] I dont think that was the answer she was looking for! ;)

[bzzzzgrrrl]: thank you [Friend 1] for your support. [Friend 2], i'll deal with you at the bowling alley.

[Friend 1]: You need to leave the room, go to a neighbors and call the towns animal control

[Friend 1]: at the suggestion of a friend whom I was IM with

[Friend 1]: or maybe the police?

[Friend 3]: we had one in the house and i opened the front door and scared him out with a broom.

[Friend 3]: picking him up didn't go well...

[bzzzzgrrrl]: ok, folks, update:
the door from the house to the garage is wide open. we presumably now know how it got in. i can't currently hear it, and so am hopeful it let itself out the same way after i shrieked at it. Off to inspect the house to double-check.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: AAh! [Friend 3], there will be NO attempts to pick this one up.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: Possum has not left the house, but is now confined-ish to open spaces. I have shut all the doors to rooms that have doors that shut while the possum chills out in the kitchen. Blocking the door that contains the broom. Will try to convince it to leave out the garage door without a broom.

[Friend 4]: IN?!!! Ugh!!

[bzzzzgrrrl]: and now it has hunkered down in what seems like the safest corner in the house, i'm sure, as there is no way for me to get anywhere near it. not really excited about leaving an outside door open all night; also not really excited about shutting a possum into my house. neighbors are, in fact, asleep.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: Awesome and helpful information from the internet: Opossums breed between January and July. If you trap opossums during these months, chances are high that babies may still be in the area. Opossums have as many as 25 babies, which are carried in the mother's pouch when first born.

[Friend 5]: possums scare me !!!!! they seem prehistoric and unpredictable

[Cousin Mouse]: oh, dear

[Cousin Mouse]: I imagine the problem with possoms is that trying to push or frighten them away only makes them stay where they are.

[Cousin Mouse]: entice with food?

[bzzzzgrrrl]: that is exactly the problem, [Cousin Mouse]. but i had the same thought. have thrown a piece of frozen chicken on the foreman (would have just thawed in the microwave, but that would mean further cornering the possum), and will put it out in the garage when it's a little less frozen.

[Cousin Mouse]: got a large box? put chicken in box, box in kitchen, trip possom, carry out.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: more (actually) helpful (rather than freaky) from the internet: According to the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife, the best way to deal with an opossum that wanders into your home is to "...stay calm, close surrounding interior doors, leave the room, and let the animal find its own way out through the pet door or an open door or window." Opossums are usually not a threat to you or your pets, as they prefer to avoid conflict. They are extremely resistant to rabies, despite common fears.

[Cousin Mouse]: trap possom, ,not trip

[bzzzzgrrrl]: sadly, the boxes are where the broom is: in the basement. the possum has decided the corner in front of the basement door is home base.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: but your plan is DEFINITELY better than mine

[Cousin Mouse]: Isn't there a door to the outside right there?

[Cousin 2]: Sending positive thoughts your way, and get-out-of-Lucy's-house thoughts in the direction of the possum! At least he/she isn't freaking out and trashing the place.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: yes, but there's still a foot of snow in front of it, and it opens out.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: yes, [Cousin 2], and for that i am VERY grateful.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: ‎(just had a vision of me trying to trip a possum. hee.)

[Cousin Mouse]: so, which door can you open? The other door onto the deck?

[bzzzzgrrrl]: nope. no doors onto the deck. the door into the garage is open, with a plate of semi-cooked chicken in front of it, and the door from the garage to the outside is also open.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: methinks i hear a possum on the move.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: there's scampering.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: but no leaving, so far.

[Cousin Mouse]: can you see it, or just hear it?

[Friend 6]: Get the camera! I hear America's Funniest Home Videos calling!!

[bzzzzgrrrl]: i have seen it, just heard it for a bit, have now re-spotted it. it has found a new corner it likes better than partially-cooked chicken, in the living room, which means i at least now have access to boxes and a broom

[Cousin Mouse]: ah, ok. And speaking of videos: tp://

[Friend 7]: A watched pot never boils.

[Cousin Mouse]: note how the possom goes in entirely the different direction than the humans atttempt to move it.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: Yeah, [Friend 7], I should probably just go to bed and forget it :)

[bzzzzgrrrl]: Crap. Lost it.

[Cousin Mouse]: Lost it?

[Cousin Mouse]: I gotta do something, I'll check back in a few.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: Refound it; new corner. And thanks to some brilliant thinking by [Friend 6], I have constructed couch-cushion barriers, pretty much trapping it in the living room/entry way area, so it can stay where it is or go into the garage for delicious chicken, but can't get into the rest of the house.

[Friend 6]: [Cousin Mouse], just watched your video. Great!!

[Cousin Mouse]: [bzzzzgrrrl] - well, sounds like it is contained at least. Good luck with this - I'll check back in the morning.

[bzzzzgrrrl]: I did not actually see the possum leave, but did find a possum eating the chicken in the garage, and shut the garage door. We are going to assume that it was the same possum, rather than a friend. GAH. Thanks, all, for your kind support and suggestions.

[Friend 6]: Good! Will talk to you soon. Are you sleeping with your bedroom door closed tonight? :)

[bzzzzgrrrl]: Sleeping? Right.

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