Questions and answers

As promised, I have answers to your blogiversary questions. Thanks for playing, everyone.

Did you make that cake in the last 24 hours or is it a stock photo that you found?
I found it the same way I find most of the images I use: Wiki Commons. In this case, it was literally the only hit returned when I searched on "birthday candle public domain" (without quotation marks).
In case it comes up again, I do not own a bundt pan. Or napkins with teddy bears.

You're locked in a 5x5 room with one piece of chewing gum, a paper clip, some duct tape and a Slinky. How do you get out?
Why on earth would I want to get out? I have a Slinky and gum.

Do you love unconditionally?
No.
Do I?
You posted this question anonymously, so I am supposed to act like I don't know who you are, and therefore, whether you do or not. However, I have a pretty good guess, and I am assuming you are the person who read the stuff I wrote in the other alphabet. If so, then no, you don't.
If there are conditions, what are they?
Here's the thing: I know that expression primarily in a religious context. I don't put very many conditions on my love, but I know them when I see them. In a romantic context, I will stop loving a partner (maybe slowly) if he or she kills my family, say, or reveals him- or herself to be someone very different from who I thought he or she was in a way that disturbs me. So the conditions are, "as long as you don't do those things." I couldn't possibly guess what all the conditions are, but they are implicit, nonetheless. I think of parental love as even less conditional, and, since neither of us are parents, we haven't had that tested yet. But sometimes parents, even good parents, stop loving their children under certain circumstances. The idea is that God, and probably only God, loves each of us absolutely without condition. There is nothing we can do that will prevent God from loving us. We can do terrible things — we can be Hitler — and God may hate what we do, but will still love us. I don't know what the conditions are between us. I don't suppose there are very many. But I (unlike God) love you because you deserve it.

I wanted to know if you've received many anonymous criticisms, or people you don't know who spot your blog and perhaps leave a nasty comment that never makes it onto the page.
Does that happen often? This is not an implication that you invite that sort of behavior.
In general, every comment anyone makes gets onto the page. I don't screen before they get up, but I can delete comments once they're there. I think I've done that two or three times in the last year: Once, because the author asked me to and didn't realize she could do it herself, once, because just a few days ago I posted my own response to the anonymous comment experiment under bzzzgrrrl instead of anonymously, and maybe one other time that I can't remember now. I don't think I've ever gotten a nasty comment or criticism, that I can think of.

Why does Swiss cheese have holes?
According to Yahoo!, way back in 2002,

... gassy bacteria are behind all that holey cheese. In order to make cheese, you need the help of bacteria. Starter cultures containing bacteria are added to milk, where they create lactic acid, essential for producing cheese. Various types of bacteria can be used to make cheese, and some cheeses require several different bacteria to give them a particular flavor.
Propionibacter shermani is one of the three types of bacteria used to make Swiss cheese, and it's responsible for the cheese's distinctive holes. Once P. shermani is added to the cheese mixture and warmed, bubbles of carbon dioxide form. These bubbles become holes in the final product. Cheesemakers can control the size of the holes by changing the acidity, temperature, and curing time of the mixture. Incidentally, those holes are technically called "eyes," and the proper Swiss name for the cheese is Emmentaler (also spelled Emmental or Emmenthaler).

Is that one of the cake wrecks?
Nope. Cake Wrecks are made by professionals, and although some of them don't look much better than that, I don't think any of them actually have a napkin on them.

How about a word on what your current feelings are about the city mouse living in the country thing?
Blissful.
You probably weren't being as literal as I usually am.
I love it. Pros to my current life:

• cheap beer
• a good job with great hours
• easy access to hiking and other outdoorsy stuff
• easy access to my nuclear family
• a house I both love and can still afford

Cons:

• lack of access to public transportation
• I need to have a lawn guy
  
• my lawn guy is sort of freaking me out
  

Did you get my e-mail? I sent it to the other address you told me to.
Yes, thank you. I'm sorry it took so long to write back.

Who's the cat that won't cop out, when there's danger all about?
Shaft. Right on.

Are you hosting "B" camp next year (I heard you don't like the word we used for it last year)?
I don't use that word much myself, but it's OK with me if you use it. I could host it, but I have a super-good idea involving building it around an existing women's weekend up here at an awesome facility with great food. We wouldn't have to do any of the work, and there would be tons to do. But we wouldn't be able to drink. Maybe we could do the weekend, but extend it to my house either before or after, with tequila.

What about crushes?
What about them? You mean do I have any? Or does anyone have one on me? I have three that I can think of:

• a very nice boy I am getting to know, which is likely not reciprocated, but might be
• a blogger I have never met, who likely does not read this blog and also likely knows I have a huge crush on her, so it's safe enough to say so
• a woman I saw one night last week in a restaurant, who a couple of my friends have gotten all atwitter about, and you know how that goes: we have to figure out where she works, and who she's friends with, and how I will wind up happily ever after with her, despite the fact that none of us have actually spoken to her, ever. Ah, crushes in a small town.
  

And I can think of four people who probably have them on me (three women, one man, none of them the people I have crushes on). If anyone would like to own up to having a crush on me in the comments, I will be all flattered over it.