Brrrr...

This is for friend and frequent commenter Joe, who said "I want the occasional fall/early winter weather report from New England. ... Describe your surroundings as part of your posts, whether it's the joy you get from the changing hues of the leaves, or the pissah that it is to shovel snow before Thanksgiving."

Now, he said that back in early November, but we are still just a month into winter, so here's your thousand words:




Yes, folks, that's 24 degrees below zero.

Kate Gosselin = Murphy Brown + Maude + Liz Lemon, all in one!

People from warmer places may not know that it can get too cold to snow. But it does. And we've been in a cycle up here: snowing a lot, really cold, snowing a lot, really cold... you get the pattern.

The result is obviously me watching a lot of crappy TV via Netflix.

Netflix's weirdness in recommendations is well-documented, but lately, it's decided I would like "Reality TV Featuring a Strong Female Lead."

How do you suppose Netflix defines that?

In order (with my descriptions and comment in italics):

• "Say Yes to the Dress" (Season 5) A show about young brides to be blowing all the money in the universe on a dress they will wear once, often arguing with their mothers, sisters, and best friends about it. The image on the cover is of a man holding a dress. Go sisterhood!
• "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" (Season 3) I have neither seen this show nor heard a lot of chatter about it, so maybe I shouldn't judge, but it's about Paris Hilton's ex-friend (or makeup artist?) and her sisters, right? Who are pretty and also Bruce Jenner's stepdaughters? Or something?
  
• "Laguna Beach" (Season 1) Rich seemingly fake high school kids are mean to each other, except it's sort of reality, somehow.
  
• "The Hills" (Season 1) The same rich seemingly fake kids get jobs, ish, and continue to be mean.
  
• "Meerkat Manor" (Season 1) My understanding is that this show is literally about meerkats. I guess this is why they say "strong female lead" and not "strong woman lead."
• "Jon & Kate Plus Ei8ht" (Seasons 1 and 2) Unlike many people, I do not judge Jon & Kate for having a lot of children. I do judge them for being unpleasant, and I judge TLC for using an 8 in place of a g.
• "Curl Girls" Lesbian surfers. This is literally the only show on this list I might watch. Oh, who are we kidding? I absolutely will watch this.
• "Transamerican Love Story" Every elimination dating reality show, with a twist! Phenomenal transwoman Calpurnia Adams is the bachelorette! I will not watch this just because I want to keep loving Calpurnia. Also, spellcheck does not recognize "transwoman," "Calpurnia," or "bachelorette."
• "First Comes Love" Every plan-a-wedding-fast reality show, with a twist! The couples are the same sex as each other! Which means, presumably, not every episode even has a woman in it.

What are you watching to stay warm?

Things I have learned from watching arguably too much Super Nanny

1. Super Nanny's advice is approximately the same for every family. It's good advice, but I do not know who submits tapes to be on that show, since you could just do what you know Super Nanny would tell you to do, without being on TV as a bad parent.
2. Super Nanny is clearly not a mandated reporter, because there are many families on this show who are just struggling, but there are more than you'd think where there's clear abuse or neglect going on. On television.
3. Many of the children featured on this show have really stupid names. I will not give you examples, because your kids may also have these same stupid names, and I don't want to offend you, but you should watch a couple of episodes, because even if the kids in one episode have the same stupid names you gave your own kids, the kids in the other one will have different ones, and you'll see what I mean. I am unclear whether there is a correlation between being a bad parent and giving your kids stupid names, or a correlation between wanting to be on reality TV and giving your kids stupid names, or both.
4. Gay parents do not go on Super Nanny. I am unclear whether there is an inverse correlation between being a bad parent and being a gay parent, or an inverse correlation between wanting to be on reality TV and being a gay parent, or both.
5. Nonetheless, this show is like Pringles to me.
6. HuluPlus, though awful and obnoxious, is still dangerous.
   

Counting cards

Know what this is?




That, my friends, is my awesome 2011. Can't. Wait. (And don't have to!)

[I was going to end it there, but I can't stand to. What are your plans for 2011? What three things are going to happen for you this year?]