Thursday, April 25, 2013

Ask me

Sometimes, I wish people would ask me more questions.

Like, personal questions.

Like, invasively, intrusively, blatantly personal questions.

So... trying a version of an old game here.

Here are the ground rules, understanding that I reserve the right to change the ground rules at any point.

Ask me a question (or a bunch, whatever).

If I choose to answer, I'll answer honestly, in one of two ways:

  • If I feel like I can answer publicly, I will, either in the comments here or in a post.
  • If I feel like I can't, but can answer privately, and I can identify the asker, I'll answer privately via e-mail or Facebook inbox.

You may ask anonymously, but that slightly reduces your chances of getting an answer, obviously.

I reserve the right to choose not to answer questions at all, but I will be as brave as I possibly can about answering as many as I can.

Maybe, depending how it goes, we'll revive the Anonymous Comment Experiment. Aren't you all waiting to be asked invasively, intrusively, blatantly personal questions?


Calvin Rey said...

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

bzzzzgrrrl said...

What do you mean? An African or European swallow?

Joe said...

Haha. Off to an excellent start with the Old Man at the Bridge reference.
How's this: What's your ideal job? And on a related note, do you find yourself sitting at your desk thinking, "I have so many other talents that are going to waste at this place." How would you use them in another setting?

bzh said...

What question are you afraid someone might ask you here?

bzzzzgrrrl said...

bzh: I was not afraid of any question when I posted this, but that is because I am a little dumb. :)

Since you asked, I have thought of a few, mostly in the category of "things I'd be fine answering to most individuals but would have a very hard time with if asked in public or by certain individuals."

I also worry a little, but not a lot, about questions that might feel (whether intended this way or not) like attacks or put-downs. We don't get a lot of that around here, but I worry about things we don't get a lot of all the time. Like, what if one of you just asked, "what's the matter with you?" Then again, not such a big deal. Those are the kinds of questions I am good at navigating, because I understand that I can pick some things that are wrong with me (like I do all the time on CMC), without getting into purging all my innermost demons in this forum.

Or now that I think of it, what if someone who knows some big secret about me uses this asking thing as a way to share something horrible I did one time with the world? I guess that could happen any time, on any post, in many forums, and there are good reasons people mostly don't do that.

Some of the outwardly scariest-seeming questions are the ones I sit around wishing someone would ask. Like, what if someone actually made me say some of the shit I think about out loud?

...and I think we may have found the topic for my next therapy appointment.

Mike said...

Okay, here's one: When does City Mouse Country reach a verdict? You've lived in small-town New England as an adult for years now, and you've lived in the capital of the free world. Are you settled?

bzzzzgrrrl said...

Mike: It's funny how different my answer is to that question than it would have been when I first started this blog. I think when I initially moved up here to the woods, I thought that was settling. I left the small town in my 20s because it was too small, came back when I was tired of being shoved on the Metro.

Now, I'm less certain. I love my life here, love my friends, love my house, love this walkable town where virtually no one shoves me (at least in a literal sense. But the idea of splitting time, like my grandparents did, between the capital of the free world (or some other city — there are a lot of good ones out there) and my small town seems increasingly desirable to me. I guess it always has seemed desirable, just not so much practical. I am for sure not in a position to make that work right now. But... maybe I could be. And maybe IF I could be, I'd like that.

I have set up this city/country binary for myself that maybe I have as little use for as I increasingly do for other binaries. Maybe I am not an either/or grrrl. Maybe I am more both/and.

bzzzzgrrrl said...

Oh, and for Joe:

I have had lots of ideal-ish jobs, I guess. Some of the components of an ideal job might be:
-Balance, in lots of ways: flexibility and structure, time spent working independently and with other people, etc.
-Opportunity to do some good
-Colleagues I really enjoy seeing and spending time with
-Work that varies enough to stay interesting
-A salary I can afford to live on without worrying too much — including enough for giving, saving, and travel

The specific nature of the work of an ideal job probably shifts for me — maybe it does for many people. I like where I am well enough, but I am not sure I anticipate retiring from it. I think that has been true to varying degrees for most of my working life.

I do not find myself sitting at my desk thinking, "I have so many other talents that are going to waste at this place."

I mean, it's certainly true that I don't use all my talents at my job, but none of us uses all our talents in our job: We save some talents for our families, our communities, our friends, our hobbies. We grow out of using some of them. Some of them are undiscovered so far. Some of the things we're gifted at, we're not as interested in.

Right? Do other people use all their talents — or even all their favorite known talents — in their work?