There have never been a lot of people reading CMC, and when I go nearly a year without posting, there are fewer. But I am not quite ready to attach my name to this post. I'm still a little fragile. So I'm writing it here for now. If it disappears in the next few days, it's because I got brave enough to share it on my personal Facebook page.
I cannot believe I'm saying this after years of outrageous inaction around guns in this country, but... I think we might be moving too fast.
I get the impulse to get guns out of the hands of "bad guys," or whatever, but. But.
It sounds like what's being proposed is that people on "terrorist watchlists" can't buy guns anymore, while the rest of us can still buy as many or as few guns as we were buying before. That seems to be the compromise that people think they can get behind. And I think that seems kind of scary and possibly racist.
If we're really committed to this idea that gun ownership is a right in America – I don't think it's all right to deny that right to people who have not been convicted of anything because they are suspected of a crime or potential future crime. I don't go to Tom Cruise movies so I didn't see this one, but isn't that the premise of Minority Report?
America's done that a lot, historically and currently, and it's done that wildly disproportionately to already marginalized folks, mostly black and brown ones, but also queer ones, poor ones, immigrant ones, mad ones.
There are people imprisoned without charges for maybe having been involved in some act of terrorism, who have been imprisoned for many years. Not without a conviction — without charges.
I personally know one African-American man who was jailed for a long time before he was charged. Once he was, he was not convicted, because he did not do the thing with which he was charged, but after a long time in jail, his life was still very different than it would have been otherwise.
There are cities across the good ol' U.S. of A. who routinely deprive people of their legally held property (cars and cash and whatnot) under the auspices that they were used in the commission of a crime. There are police departments who have to build their budgets around those seizures. Without probable cause.
I don't like any of that. And if we think a second amendment is a good idea at all, if part of our American deal is that people get to have guns — I don't think we should plan to deprive people — mostly brown people — that right.
You want to talk about whether that right is a good idea at all? I'll have that conversation, when I'm a little more over my grief about the hundred of my family members who were shot a few days ago. I might be open to ditching that right entirely. But I don't think I'm OK with ditching it for just some (already marginalized) people.
Right? There have to be some lawyers and libertarians out there, as well as some passionate gun-control types. Do you all have thoughts?
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Sunday, November 30, 2014
I can breathe in a small town
So about that fundraiser last Saturday.
It was for Green Mountain Crossroads, which is an organization I love and support, and which organization has also given me so much. And I am bad at asking for money, and did it poorly the other night, but I'm going to do it poorly here, too, because it matters to me, a lot. One thing that made it easier the other night was that I was talking to such a great and mixed group: rural queers, GMC volunteers, beloved allies. Oh, hey. That's a group not unlike you people.
Even before he started the "It Gets Better" project, sex advice columnist Dan Savage talked a lot to young LGBTQ people about how their lives would be better once they got old enough to leave their small towns and go to a city where they'd find more people like them. For some people, that is no doubt good and even life-saving advice.
But: I tried that.
I moved to a city in my 20s for many reasons, in part to find more queers. And... I didn't succeed. I found a handful of wonderful gay men, and eventually I found a closeted girlfriend. As much as I love (in some cases, still do love) that tiny handful of people, they weren't a big community of queers. They were great friends, but they weren't a wider circle of friends and acquaintances. Those individuals had my back and helped make my life fun and richer, but they weren't a network of support.
Those things, I found (eventually) when I moved back to a rural place, thanks in no small part to Green Mountain Crossroads and its predecessor organization.
That is what GMC does: It supports and uplifts rural queers. Some of that is community-building, in dances and social events. Some of that is support-type support, in a confidential queer-and-questioning youth group and a monthly trans pot luck and discussion and a local group for LGBTQ people with disabilities. Some of that is political organizing and leadership training and consulting with businesses and healthcare providers who want to be more queer-friendly*.
GMC is doing all that with the help of some dedicated volunteers and one part-time employee. We want to do even more.
Day 17 of our month of gratitude: I am so, so thankful for the work of Green Mountain Crossroads and other organizations like it, and I am very thankful for the folks who've supported GMC's current fundraising push. Want to be one of those people? The donate button's here. Small monthly gifts make even more of a difference, and you can set that up online, too.
*Helpful hint: If your business has bathrooms, and if they are single-person bathrooms, and if they currently have gendered signs on the doors, take those signs off, for starters. It just makes everyone's life easier and involves literally no commitment to the cause.
It was for Green Mountain Crossroads, which is an organization I love and support, and which organization has also given me so much. And I am bad at asking for money, and did it poorly the other night, but I'm going to do it poorly here, too, because it matters to me, a lot. One thing that made it easier the other night was that I was talking to such a great and mixed group: rural queers, GMC volunteers, beloved allies. Oh, hey. That's a group not unlike you people.
Even before he started the "It Gets Better" project, sex advice columnist Dan Savage talked a lot to young LGBTQ people about how their lives would be better once they got old enough to leave their small towns and go to a city where they'd find more people like them. For some people, that is no doubt good and even life-saving advice.
But: I tried that.
I moved to a city in my 20s for many reasons, in part to find more queers. And... I didn't succeed. I found a handful of wonderful gay men, and eventually I found a closeted girlfriend. As much as I love (in some cases, still do love) that tiny handful of people, they weren't a big community of queers. They were great friends, but they weren't a wider circle of friends and acquaintances. Those individuals had my back and helped make my life fun and richer, but they weren't a network of support.
Those things, I found (eventually) when I moved back to a rural place, thanks in no small part to Green Mountain Crossroads and its predecessor organization.
That is what GMC does: It supports and uplifts rural queers. Some of that is community-building, in dances and social events. Some of that is support-type support, in a confidential queer-and-questioning youth group and a monthly trans pot luck and discussion and a local group for LGBTQ people with disabilities. Some of that is political organizing and leadership training and consulting with businesses and healthcare providers who want to be more queer-friendly*.
GMC is doing all that with the help of some dedicated volunteers and one part-time employee. We want to do even more.
Day 17 of our month of gratitude: I am so, so thankful for the work of Green Mountain Crossroads and other organizations like it, and I am very thankful for the folks who've supported GMC's current fundraising push. Want to be one of those people? The donate button's here. Small monthly gifts make even more of a difference, and you can set that up online, too.
*Helpful hint: If your business has bathrooms, and if they are single-person bathrooms, and if they currently have gendered signs on the doors, take those signs off, for starters. It just makes everyone's life easier and involves literally no commitment to the cause.
Friday, November 21, 2014
Quiet... too quiet.
Today's guest post is from my friend Calvin, who usually blogs in poetry and who tried (as I did) to use a bunch of hovertext in this piece, only to discover that you can code it right all you want; Blogger will just break your coding. Stupid Blogger. So, basically, if you see a term that looks like a link, hover on it. If you get some explanatory text, don't bother to click through because you'll just get an error message. If you don't, you can click through if you want — I think the only real links are on Cal's blog above, on "Dark Matter," and on the tweeted image. I think. Good luck, readers.
Earlier this month, I went to a gender conference, and it was OK.
The best part was the keynote, DarkMatter—a trans, South Asian performance/activist duo—who did a set at the close of the day that left us all awkwardly moaning for more. They tore apart Dan Savage and marriage equality and Harry Potter's white tears, and Alok's dress was covered in eyeballs!
The other best part was something I was afraid might be the worst part. I almost didn't go to the transmasculine caucus. I usually don't try to be around a bunch of other transmasculine people because...well...transmasc people say some entitled, misogynist, self-involved shit. Just like cis men! (Gasp.) But a friend who I was at the conference with reminded me that we have a responsibility to be in those spaces and interrupt the sense of entitlement that creeps in with masculine privilege, so we went.
And right away my angst melted a little because there were so many earnest-looking babies in the room. The conversation did, inevitably, meander into some "our monolithic trans male [sic] experience is way unique and important" territory, but there were quite a few folks in attendance who were able to bring some other perspectives. And then a thing happened where I realized I just rode in a car 150 miles one way to find out my dear friend and close neighbor is the smartest person ever.
One person was talking about being gendered by strangers on the street and hearing "ma'am" or "sir" and how the experience of being read consistently as male just makes things a lot quieter for him. And I'm all nodding and imagining how nice that would be, and then my friend goes, "And what do we do with that quiet?"
Glitter bombs have been going off in my head ever since, about the value (for me) of discomfort, of tension, of noise, the purpose that not passing can serve. For some, passing is a choice, and for some it is not, and for some it's a privilege, and sometimes that quiet can serve us well, and sometimes I think it's the noise that's going to ever change anything, if we can listen to it instead of run from it.
Poem of Gratitude for Noisy Times
Let me catch my breath,
Figure some shit out, and then
Come on, bring the noise.
Earlier this month, I went to a gender conference, and it was OK.
The best part was the keynote, DarkMatter—a trans, South Asian performance/activist duo—who did a set at the close of the day that left us all awkwardly moaning for more. They tore apart Dan Savage and marriage equality and Harry Potter's white tears, and Alok's dress was covered in eyeballs!
eye love the movement!
DarkMatter tonight at the TIC conference in burlington.
xx pic.twitter.com/aVTVUPMLAK
— DarkMatter (@DarkMatterRage) November 1, 2014
The other best part was something I was afraid might be the worst part. I almost didn't go to the transmasculine caucus. I usually don't try to be around a bunch of other transmasculine people because...well...transmasc people say some entitled, misogynist, self-involved shit. Just like cis men! (Gasp.) But a friend who I was at the conference with reminded me that we have a responsibility to be in those spaces and interrupt the sense of entitlement that creeps in with masculine privilege, so we went.
And right away my angst melted a little because there were so many earnest-looking babies in the room. The conversation did, inevitably, meander into some "our monolithic trans male [sic] experience is way unique and important" territory, but there were quite a few folks in attendance who were able to bring some other perspectives. And then a thing happened where I realized I just rode in a car 150 miles one way to find out my dear friend and close neighbor is the smartest person ever.
One person was talking about being gendered by strangers on the street and hearing "ma'am" or "sir" and how the experience of being read consistently as male just makes things a lot quieter for him. And I'm all nodding and imagining how nice that would be, and then my friend goes, "And what do we do with that quiet?"
Glitter bombs have been going off in my head ever since, about the value (for me) of discomfort, of tension, of noise, the purpose that not passing can serve. For some, passing is a choice, and for some it is not, and for some it's a privilege, and sometimes that quiet can serve us well, and sometimes I think it's the noise that's going to ever change anything, if we can listen to it instead of run from it.
Poem of Gratitude for Noisy Times
Let me catch my breath,
Figure some shit out, and then
Come on, bring the noise.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Who It's About
Today's guest post is from my good friend and occasional commenter Heidi. There's more from Heidi on Twitter: @queerminister.
Anyone else want to get in on the guest-posting fun? Let me know.
Veterans Day is kind of a big deal at my house. This is a new thing for me.
I didn’t grow up in a military or government family (although my Mom’s oldest brother served in Vietnam). I did however marry into a military and government family. Have you seen that movie Meet the Parents? My father-in-law is Robert DeNiro’s character in that movie. People think I’m kidding until they meet him. Then, they discover that I’m not. He’s kind of a gruff, rough around the edges dude on first meeting. He has however discovered that I will bring him his favorite alcohol when I visit, and cook him requested dinners, so I’m in the circle of trust now. That works out well for me.
My father-in-law is also a veteran and retired from the United States government, having served overseas for much of his professional life. My mother-in-law is former government. My sister-in-law is a military wife. My partner’s grandfather was career military. The well runs deep.
It was a little bit of a treat for me to marry into the family. I love my country (a lot) despite all of its faults. I own a scarf in the design of the American flag. I sob my way through the National Anthem and patriotic songs fairly regularly. I still feel awed every time I go into a voting booth. You get the drift. But it’s not totally “PC” in my circles to love America as much as I do.
I’m a queer person, and a liberal, Christian minister. My circles are often full of people who are not only pacifist (which I am too), but deeply anti-war and anti-military. I get a lot of side eye from radical queers when I trot out the flag scarf, or excitedly discuss our 4th of July plans.
And I get it. I really do. I understand the frustration with war that seems endless and exhausting. I share it. I understand that people don’t know what to make of our intelligence work when the NSA is all over the news spying on people in inappropriate ways. I get that the military industrial complex is a real thing.
But here’s what else I know.
I know that my best friend from seminary (a military chaplain and officer herself) is facing her first Veteran’s Day with her husband deployed overseas. She is one of the strongest people I know.
I know that my friend M weathered 6 months of her wife’s deployment under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell with almost none of the benefits straight couples get at that time. Someone else was going to get the phone call first if her wife was killed in combat.
I know that my friend C has served 2 tours of duty in Kuwait and Afghanistan, her most recent alongside her father. People at a conference gathering for our denomination actively avoided her mom under the guise of pacifism while both her daughter and husband were at war.
I could go on and on with stories. But I’ll end with this. Today is Veteran’s Day. It’s not about you, or me, or our politics — unless you're a veteran. Today it’s about gratitude, and saying thanks.
Oh, and for the record? I’ve never met anyone as pro-peace as a veteran.
Day 6 of gratitude: Today, I am thankful for our military personnel, our veterans, and their families. I am grateful for their commitment to serve a country who often does not care for them as we should, and the sacrifices they make. I am even thankful for my sometimes cranky, always entertaining father-in-law, and the fact he does not own a polygraph machine.
Anyone else want to get in on the guest-posting fun? Let me know.
Veterans Day is kind of a big deal at my house. This is a new thing for me.
I didn’t grow up in a military or government family (although my Mom’s oldest brother served in Vietnam). I did however marry into a military and government family. Have you seen that movie Meet the Parents? My father-in-law is Robert DeNiro’s character in that movie. People think I’m kidding until they meet him. Then, they discover that I’m not. He’s kind of a gruff, rough around the edges dude on first meeting. He has however discovered that I will bring him his favorite alcohol when I visit, and cook him requested dinners, so I’m in the circle of trust now. That works out well for me.
My father-in-law is also a veteran and retired from the United States government, having served overseas for much of his professional life. My mother-in-law is former government. My sister-in-law is a military wife. My partner’s grandfather was career military. The well runs deep.
It was a little bit of a treat for me to marry into the family. I love my country (a lot) despite all of its faults. I own a scarf in the design of the American flag. I sob my way through the National Anthem and patriotic songs fairly regularly. I still feel awed every time I go into a voting booth. You get the drift. But it’s not totally “PC” in my circles to love America as much as I do.
I’m a queer person, and a liberal, Christian minister. My circles are often full of people who are not only pacifist (which I am too), but deeply anti-war and anti-military. I get a lot of side eye from radical queers when I trot out the flag scarf, or excitedly discuss our 4th of July plans.
And I get it. I really do. I understand the frustration with war that seems endless and exhausting. I share it. I understand that people don’t know what to make of our intelligence work when the NSA is all over the news spying on people in inappropriate ways. I get that the military industrial complex is a real thing.
But here’s what else I know.
I know that my best friend from seminary (a military chaplain and officer herself) is facing her first Veteran’s Day with her husband deployed overseas. She is one of the strongest people I know.
I know that my friend M weathered 6 months of her wife’s deployment under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell with almost none of the benefits straight couples get at that time. Someone else was going to get the phone call first if her wife was killed in combat.
I know that my friend C has served 2 tours of duty in Kuwait and Afghanistan, her most recent alongside her father. People at a conference gathering for our denomination actively avoided her mom under the guise of pacifism while both her daughter and husband were at war.
I could go on and on with stories. But I’ll end with this. Today is Veteran’s Day. It’s not about you, or me, or our politics — unless you're a veteran. Today it’s about gratitude, and saying thanks.
Oh, and for the record? I’ve never met anyone as pro-peace as a veteran.
Day 6 of gratitude: Today, I am thankful for our military personnel, our veterans, and their families. I am grateful for their commitment to serve a country who often does not care for them as we should, and the sacrifices they make. I am even thankful for my sometimes cranky, always entertaining father-in-law, and the fact he does not own a polygraph machine.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Hear me roar
A while back, someone I know who is definitely on the line between "acquaintance" and "friend" said she was starting a feminist book club. And I got immediately excited about the idea. Like, disproportionately excited.
And in thinking about why, I think it's that I miss, in some ways, having a community of women. I have plenty of women friends, of course, some of you among them — but I don't have (I thought) a women-specific community of women. I've had them before, eschewed them before, and finally settled on just listening to my own excitement, got the audio book, and listened to The Round House as I did a lot of driving around a few weekends ago.
Book club itself was great. Next time, we're reading Kate Chopin's The Awakening, and I'm pretty excited — not just because one of the other members of the group is a bona fide rock star and published author of a book I love. For a bunch of white women in a feminist book club in Vermont, we're pretty diverse, and the thoughts shared sparked new thoughts, and basically it was all very nice.
Then this week, I went to therapy. It's not a big deal; I'm usually in therapy. I like therapy, a lot, actually. But about a year ago, my therapist pulled together a group to do group therapy, all women, varying ages and orientations, and we get together and do therapy (which often involves more movement or psychodrama or whatever, rather than just talking) every other week.
But it is maybe not coincidence that I was missing a community of women during the period that my therapy group went nearly two months without a meeting.
And last night, to settle back in, we just talked — no movement, no psychodrama. And very quickly, it felt like what I like to hope feminist consciousness-raising groups were like. It was amazing, the points of commonality, the nods and gasps as we became increasingly aware of how alike so much of our baggage is.
Earlier in the day, I'd had a longer-than-expected dental appointment, because my hygienist and I are friends, and we needed to talk about politics and her kids and my teeth. As I left, she'd said, "We need to get together," and I knew she meant the two of us and the mutual friend who introduced us, and again, I was immediately and disproportionately excited.
Day 4 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful for communities of women, the more inclusive*, the better. I am thankful for opportunities to talk about similarities and differences of experience, about socialization and its impact. I am thankful for quilting bees and daycare collectives and dental chairs and book clubs and my suite in my college dorm.
*It occurred to me late that I should be specific here. I mean, inclusive of people who identify as women, specifically including people with different body parts, ages, classes, races, family backgrounds, ideologies, abilities, and experiences.
And in thinking about why, I think it's that I miss, in some ways, having a community of women. I have plenty of women friends, of course, some of you among them — but I don't have (I thought) a women-specific community of women. I've had them before, eschewed them before, and finally settled on just listening to my own excitement, got the audio book, and listened to The Round House as I did a lot of driving around a few weekends ago.
Book club itself was great. Next time, we're reading Kate Chopin's The Awakening, and I'm pretty excited — not just because one of the other members of the group is a bona fide rock star and published author of a book I love. For a bunch of white women in a feminist book club in Vermont, we're pretty diverse, and the thoughts shared sparked new thoughts, and basically it was all very nice.
Then this week, I went to therapy. It's not a big deal; I'm usually in therapy. I like therapy, a lot, actually. But about a year ago, my therapist pulled together a group to do group therapy, all women, varying ages and orientations, and we get together and do therapy (which often involves more movement or psychodrama or whatever, rather than just talking) every other week.
But it is maybe not coincidence that I was missing a community of women during the period that my therapy group went nearly two months without a meeting.
And last night, to settle back in, we just talked — no movement, no psychodrama. And very quickly, it felt like what I like to hope feminist consciousness-raising groups were like. It was amazing, the points of commonality, the nods and gasps as we became increasingly aware of how alike so much of our baggage is.
Earlier in the day, I'd had a longer-than-expected dental appointment, because my hygienist and I are friends, and we needed to talk about politics and her kids and my teeth. As I left, she'd said, "We need to get together," and I knew she meant the two of us and the mutual friend who introduced us, and again, I was immediately and disproportionately excited.
Day 4 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful for communities of women, the more inclusive*, the better. I am thankful for opportunities to talk about similarities and differences of experience, about socialization and its impact. I am thankful for quilting bees and daycare collectives and dental chairs and book clubs and my suite in my college dorm.
*It occurred to me late that I should be specific here. I mean, inclusive of people who identify as women, specifically including people with different body parts, ages, classes, races, family backgrounds, ideologies, abilities, and experiences.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Just Cause (Part 4)
And continuing 40 Days of Worthy Causes... I'm highlighting a cause a day for each day of Lent. I hope you'll find some of them worth looking into, even supporting — and I hope you'll tell me what some of your favorites are, too, in the comments.
Day 16: Breast Cancer Action. I first heard of BCA from a person who's had breast cancer who dislikes a lot of other breast cancer awareness organizations. She has a pretty good rant about it, that I couldn't possibly top, so I'm not going to try. From BCAction's site: "...they are the only national breast cancer organization that does not accept funding from companies that profit from or contribute to cancer. Because they can't be bought, they tell the truth about important issues concerning our health, like toxins in the environment. Their work affects all of us, not just those with breast cancer."
Day 17: Sea Shepherd. Sea Shepherd first came to my attention after Bindi Irwin decided to associate herself with Sea World. Paul Watson, of Sea Shepherd, had some great things to say about both why Sea World is terrible and also why that's not the fault of one fifteen-year-old girl. They do incredible work and have the best logo for a nonprofit I can think of. From their site: "Our mission is to end the destruction of habitat and slaughter of wildlife in the world's oceans in order to conserve and protect ecosystems and species."
Day 18: Families Against Mandatory Minimums. I saw The House I Live In this week, and it left me with lots of feelings and thoughts and plans for action (if you're interested in watching it, it's available on Netflix). One thing that was very clear to me is that mandatory minimum sentences aren't helping anyone — and from even the least sympathetic, most mercenary viewpoint, they're costing us a ridiculous amount of money. From FAMM's Mission: "FAMM (Families Against Mandatory Minimums) is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization fighting for smart sentencing laws that maintain public safety. FAMM sees a country where criminal sentencing is individualized, humane, and sufficient to impose fair punishment and protect public safety."
Day 19: Autistic Self Advocacy Network. This is another organization that's important to someone who'se important to me — and one that's specifically helping a population that's often talked about by others speak for itself. From the mission statement: "The Autistic Self Advocacy Network seeks to advance the principles of the disability rights movement with regard to autism. Drawing on the principles of the cross-disability community, ASAN seeks to organize the community of Autistic adults and youth to have our voices heard in the national conversation about us."
Day 20: The Root Social Justice Center. The Root started as a coworking space, but has become so much more in such a short period of time. It's rare for me to go two weeks without attending some event there, and every time, I'm just impressed with the simplicity of the idea of having a space where important social justice work of lots of different kinds happens under one roof. From the "About the Root" page: "The Root SJC provides a physically and financially accessible space to support and bring together communities working for social justice. We operate collectively to sustain a space that strives to be free of oppression, harm, and injustice."
Day 21: Invisible No More. From the home page: "Invisible No More is a peer run group representing the Trans* community, based in the Pioneer Valley of Massachusetts. We exist for the purposes of Support, Advocacy, Education, and Celebration." INM's on this list because they supported a really wonderful production of "The Naked I" this weekend, which arguably counts toward all four of those purposes.
Day 16: Breast Cancer Action. I first heard of BCA from a person who's had breast cancer who dislikes a lot of other breast cancer awareness organizations. She has a pretty good rant about it, that I couldn't possibly top, so I'm not going to try. From BCAction's site: "...they are the only national breast cancer organization that does not accept funding from companies that profit from or contribute to cancer. Because they can't be bought, they tell the truth about important issues concerning our health, like toxins in the environment. Their work affects all of us, not just those with breast cancer."
Day 17: Sea Shepherd. Sea Shepherd first came to my attention after Bindi Irwin decided to associate herself with Sea World. Paul Watson, of Sea Shepherd, had some great things to say about both why Sea World is terrible and also why that's not the fault of one fifteen-year-old girl. They do incredible work and have the best logo for a nonprofit I can think of. From their site: "Our mission is to end the destruction of habitat and slaughter of wildlife in the world's oceans in order to conserve and protect ecosystems and species."
Day 18: Families Against Mandatory Minimums. I saw The House I Live In this week, and it left me with lots of feelings and thoughts and plans for action (if you're interested in watching it, it's available on Netflix). One thing that was very clear to me is that mandatory minimum sentences aren't helping anyone — and from even the least sympathetic, most mercenary viewpoint, they're costing us a ridiculous amount of money. From FAMM's Mission: "FAMM (Families Against Mandatory Minimums) is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization fighting for smart sentencing laws that maintain public safety. FAMM sees a country where criminal sentencing is individualized, humane, and sufficient to impose fair punishment and protect public safety."
Day 19: Autistic Self Advocacy Network. This is another organization that's important to someone who'se important to me — and one that's specifically helping a population that's often talked about by others speak for itself. From the mission statement: "The Autistic Self Advocacy Network seeks to advance the principles of the disability rights movement with regard to autism. Drawing on the principles of the cross-disability community, ASAN seeks to organize the community of Autistic adults and youth to have our voices heard in the national conversation about us."
Day 20: The Root Social Justice Center. The Root started as a coworking space, but has become so much more in such a short period of time. It's rare for me to go two weeks without attending some event there, and every time, I'm just impressed with the simplicity of the idea of having a space where important social justice work of lots of different kinds happens under one roof. From the "About the Root" page: "The Root SJC provides a physically and financially accessible space to support and bring together communities working for social justice. We operate collectively to sustain a space that strives to be free of oppression, harm, and injustice."
Day 21: Invisible No More. From the home page: "Invisible No More is a peer run group representing the Trans* community, based in the Pioneer Valley of Massachusetts. We exist for the purposes of Support, Advocacy, Education, and Celebration." INM's on this list because they supported a really wonderful production of "The Naked I" this weekend, which arguably counts toward all four of those purposes.
Monday, March 24, 2014
Just Cause (Part 3)
It's time for a continuation of 40 Days of Worthy Causes. I'll be highlighting a cause a day for each day of Lent. I hope you'll find some of them worth looking into, even supporting — and I hope you'll tell me what some of your favorites are, too, in the comments.
Day 11: Planned Parenthood. Probably, you all know what Planned Parenthood does, but if not, it provides health care, of many kinds, to people who need it, and takes a lot of heat for doing so.* I still go there because I have insurance, and they took care of me when I didn't, and now my insurance dollars fund something I believe in. From the "Who We Are" page: "Planned Parenthood is one of the nation's leading providers of high-quality, affordable health care for women, men, and young people, and the nation's largest provider of sex education. Planned Parenthood also works with partner organizations worldwide to improve the sexual health and well-being of individuals and families everywhere."
Day 12: Heifer International. HI is one of the first three charitable organizations I can recall raising money for, as a child** — there is something tangible and easy-to-understand about giving animals that can feed, clothe, and otherwise sustain people. From "About Heifer": "We empower families to turn hunger and poverty into hope and prosperity – but our approach is more than just giving them a handout. Heifer links communities and helps bring sustainable agriculture and commerce to areas with a long history of poverty. Our animals provide partners with both food and reliable income, as agricultural products such as milk, eggs and honey can be traded or sold at market. When many families gain this new sustainable income, it brings new opportunities for building schools, creating agricultural cooperatives, forming community savings and funding small businesses." Also, I would swear that there was a bit on The Office where Kevin described HI's work as "a great prank," but I can't find it, for the life of me. Anyone else remember that?
Day 13: Sylvia Rivera Law Project. From the home page: "The Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression, regardless of income or race, and without facing harassment, discrimination, or violence." Seems important, right?
Day 14: Bike and Build. I first heard of this group a year ago (two?) when they were doing a bike clinic with kids at the church of a friend of mine when I was staying at said friend's house. From the home page: "Bike & Build organizes cross-country bicycle trips which benefit affordable housing groups. Specifically, we fund projects planned and executed by young adults. Over the past 10 seasons we have donated more than $4.5M; built for more than 160,000 hours; pedaled over 7.5M miles; and engaged more than 2000 young adults in spreading the word about the affordable housing crisis in America." And hey, if you're interested, they still have 2014 rider spots available.
Day 15: Camp Rising Sun. People who know me well know I believe in camp, generally. This camp helps kids with cancer. I first heard about it from a former coworker, one of their volunteers, who used to (perhaps still does?) go back every summer, and when she came back to work she just shone with the joy of that experience. From their "Who We Are" section: "It is our mission at Camp Rising Sun to provide a safe nurturing environment to kids who have faced the diagnosis of cancer, so that they may grow and learn from their experiences to become the best they can be."
Day 16: National Park Foundation. Maybe it's just because I'm sick to death of winter, and ready to get out and hiking, but our national parks are awesome, and I support them. "The National Park Foundation, in partnership with the National Park Service, enriches America’s national parks and programs through private support, safeguarding our heritage and inspiring generations of national park enthusiasts."
*Also, unrelated to Planned Parenthood, but related to what PP gets a lot of attention for, which is abortion: If you have a chance to see After Tiller, I hope you will — I saw it a few weeks back and it really moved me and shifted my thinking about some things. I saw it with the only other person who I know saw it, and she is probably bored of hearing me talk about it by now. You can watch it through Amazon, if there isn't a screening near you.
**Other early favorites were:
Day 11: Planned Parenthood. Probably, you all know what Planned Parenthood does, but if not, it provides health care, of many kinds, to people who need it, and takes a lot of heat for doing so.* I still go there because I have insurance, and they took care of me when I didn't, and now my insurance dollars fund something I believe in. From the "Who We Are" page: "Planned Parenthood is one of the nation's leading providers of high-quality, affordable health care for women, men, and young people, and the nation's largest provider of sex education. Planned Parenthood also works with partner organizations worldwide to improve the sexual health and well-being of individuals and families everywhere."
Day 12: Heifer International. HI is one of the first three charitable organizations I can recall raising money for, as a child** — there is something tangible and easy-to-understand about giving animals that can feed, clothe, and otherwise sustain people. From "About Heifer": "We empower families to turn hunger and poverty into hope and prosperity – but our approach is more than just giving them a handout. Heifer links communities and helps bring sustainable agriculture and commerce to areas with a long history of poverty. Our animals provide partners with both food and reliable income, as agricultural products such as milk, eggs and honey can be traded or sold at market. When many families gain this new sustainable income, it brings new opportunities for building schools, creating agricultural cooperatives, forming community savings and funding small businesses." Also, I would swear that there was a bit on The Office where Kevin described HI's work as "a great prank," but I can't find it, for the life of me. Anyone else remember that?
Day 13: Sylvia Rivera Law Project. From the home page: "The Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression, regardless of income or race, and without facing harassment, discrimination, or violence." Seems important, right?
Day 14: Bike and Build. I first heard of this group a year ago (two?) when they were doing a bike clinic with kids at the church of a friend of mine when I was staying at said friend's house. From the home page: "Bike & Build organizes cross-country bicycle trips which benefit affordable housing groups. Specifically, we fund projects planned and executed by young adults. Over the past 10 seasons we have donated more than $4.5M; built for more than 160,000 hours; pedaled over 7.5M miles; and engaged more than 2000 young adults in spreading the word about the affordable housing crisis in America." And hey, if you're interested, they still have 2014 rider spots available.
Day 15: Camp Rising Sun. People who know me well know I believe in camp, generally. This camp helps kids with cancer. I first heard about it from a former coworker, one of their volunteers, who used to (perhaps still does?) go back every summer, and when she came back to work she just shone with the joy of that experience. From their "Who We Are" section: "It is our mission at Camp Rising Sun to provide a safe nurturing environment to kids who have faced the diagnosis of cancer, so that they may grow and learn from their experiences to become the best they can be."
Day 16: National Park Foundation. Maybe it's just because I'm sick to death of winter, and ready to get out and hiking, but our national parks are awesome, and I support them. "The National Park Foundation, in partnership with the National Park Service, enriches America’s national parks and programs through private support, safeguarding our heritage and inspiring generations of national park enthusiasts."
*Also, unrelated to Planned Parenthood, but related to what PP gets a lot of attention for, which is abortion: If you have a chance to see After Tiller, I hope you will — I saw it a few weeks back and it really moved me and shifted my thinking about some things. I saw it with the only other person who I know saw it, and she is probably bored of hearing me talk about it by now. You can watch it through Amazon, if there isn't a screening near you.
**Other early favorites were:
- Unicef, because children
- What was then the Presiding Bishop's Fund for World Relief, now Episcopal Relief and Development, because church
- The National Multiple Sclerosis Society, because competitive reading. Anyone got a kid doing the MS readathon? Or any other readathon?
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Right Said Fred
Why should I write a post when my friends do it better?
Here is what my Facebook feed said about the death of Fred Phelps today. I think it is pretty safe to say that none of these people would have been considered pro-Phelps, or even Phelps-neutral, while he lived. I did not cherry-pick these responses. This is literally every response I saw.
I may have more complicated feelings later, but right now, I'm hardly thinking about Fred Phelps. I am thinking about how lucky I am to be in a circle of folks who are so loving and hilarious and unhateful. I am pretty excited that these are the people I have surrounded myself with, or been surrounded by, over a lifetime.
Note: All quotes are used with permission, and attributed by permission, except for the ones by celebrities who already shared the sentiments publicly, so, seems OK. I don't actually follow either Mary Lambert or George Takei, but my real-life friends shared their words.
Here is what my Facebook feed said about the death of Fred Phelps today. I think it is pretty safe to say that none of these people would have been considered pro-Phelps, or even Phelps-neutral, while he lived. I did not cherry-pick these responses. This is literally every response I saw.
Rev. Emily C. Heath: I pray that Fred Phelps finds in death the peace and love of God that he never found in life.
"Do not repay evil for evil..." - 1 Peter 3:9
Heidi Carrington Heath: Prayers of healing, peace, and reconciliation for Fred Phelps. Fred, may you be surrounded by the infinite mercy of God's love that loves all of us. May you find the peace in death you could not find in life. May your family find comfort as they grieve your death. Go with God.
Patrick Hagerty: I know that the man, while alive, espoused a hate-filled agenda. I hope, now that he is gone, that he is at peace and all the conflict and pain he caused can now start to heal. In the end we should treat even those who despise us with compassion, although they would not do the same for us. It's what makes us different.
Sonora Chase Snyder: Farewell Fred, and may God heal you before you get reincarnated.
Beth Zacharias Hunt
can’t help but wonder where Fred Phelps finds himself this afternoon.
Erik Marino: Fred Phelps is dead. My bracket is ruined.
George Takei: Today, Mr. Phelps may have learned that God, in fact, hates no one. Vicious and hate-filled as he was, may his soul find the kind of peace through death that was so plainly elusive during his life.
Mary Lambert: Don't practice what Fred Phelps preached. A death is a death is a death. My wish is that he is met by the beautiful souls he hatefully picketed and learns compassion, empathy, and true love.
I may have more complicated feelings later, but right now, I'm hardly thinking about Fred Phelps. I am thinking about how lucky I am to be in a circle of folks who are so loving and hilarious and unhateful. I am pretty excited that these are the people I have surrounded myself with, or been surrounded by, over a lifetime.
Note: All quotes are used with permission, and attributed by permission, except for the ones by celebrities who already shared the sentiments publicly, so, seems OK. I don't actually follow either Mary Lambert or George Takei, but my real-life friends shared their words.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Just Cause (Part 2)
Sometimes, things happen, like not having the internet at home. But now, a day late, we have a continuation of 40 Days of Worthy Causes. I'll be highlighting a cause a day for each day of Lent. I hope you'll find some of them worth looking into, even supporting — and I hope you'll tell me what some of your favorites are, too, in the comments.
Day 5: Green Mountain Crossroads. GMC is an LGBTQ community organization for southeastern Vermont, southwestern New Hampshire, and northwestern Massachusetts. It was founded by a couple of people who are simultaneously really incredibly lovely and very very dedicated to their community. From the Facebook page: "Green Mountain Crossroads is a nonprofit organization working to increase the connections among the LGBTQ communities. We maintain a community events calendar on our website, and assist in organizing events, workshops, performances, and support groups. Our website also provides resources and referrals for health and well being."
Day 6: Davis-Putter Scholarship Fund. I have a friend who's on the board of this organization (they have 16 days left to raise $10,000 on their indiegogo campaign, if you're into that), but I also just love the idea of supporting student activists, specifically. From their "about the fund" page: "The Davis-Putter Scholarship Fund provides grants to students actively working for peace and justice. These need-based scholarships are awarded to those able to do academic work at the university level and who are part of the progressive movement on the campus and in the community. Early recipients worked for civil rights, against McCarthyism, and for peace in Vietnam. Recent grantees have been active in the struggle against racism, sexism, homophobia, and other forms of oppression; building the movement for economic justice; and creating peace through international anti-imperialist solidarity."
Day 7: Justice in the Body. I got to know this organization (and one of its founders) when I crashed on its floor (organization, not founder) about a year ago. If you're in the Portland area, check it out — I find myself frequently wishing it was closer, or actually just more widespread. They're doing great work in so many seemingly disparate but widely varied ways. From their "About JITB" section: "Justice in the Body is a socially responsible education, training, and movement center devoted to integrating well-being, love, justice, and liberation with individuals, groups, and social movements." The founder I met had a practice of asking people who asked about JITB: "What would justice in your body look like?" I've been carrying that question around for a year now.
Day 8: Academy of Hope. My first job out of college was teaching adult ed at AoH, and that experience was totally formative in so many ways. It changed how I thought about teaching, and learning, and privilege, while I was at the same time living in a group house that was changing how I thought about faith and community. Big year. When I moved back to DC a few years later, I volunteered, and am proud to have also participated in their adult spelling bee, which is among the best fundraisers I've participated in. From the "Mission and Values" page: "Academy of Hope's mission is to provide high quality adult basic education in a manner that changes lives and improves our community. ... Since its beginning in 1985, the Academy of Hope has been powered by adult learners, volunteers, donors and staff who are dedicated to building one of the most respected not-for-profit organizations in the Washington, D.C., area."
Day 9: You Gotta Believe. An old friend is adopting a 19-year-old young man through this organization. I can't think of any reason why most of you would know that the adoption (or fostering) of older youth is, like, A Thing for me, but it is. From their mission: "You Gotta Believe is one of a precious few organizations in the U.S and the only organization in the New York City Metro area that solely limits its practice to finding permanent parents and families for young adults, teens, and pre-teens in the foster care system. We were founded with a mission to find adoptive parents for pre-teens, teens and young adults before they age out of the foster care system and run the extremely high risk of becoming homeless."
Day 10: Yes!And Collaborative Arts. Did you know that March is Youth Art Month? Neither did I. But I do know that having artistic outlets, early, made me comfortable in many of the things I am today: weird, silly, a gifted problem-solver... Those outlets also gave me the friend who suggested this nonprofit to me. From the "About Y!A" page: "Yes! And... equips children and young people with the tools to be better learners, to believe in themselves and to realize their dreams through the work of creating collaboratively with peers and professional artists. As educators, we practice and teach a different way of interacting with kids, with each other and with the world. We believe that children learn best when they are given the opportunity to engage with one another, classroom content and their own ideas in the context of a safe, affirming and specific environment – this we call Tribe Centered Learning, a unique brand of Collaborative Arts Education."
Day 5: Green Mountain Crossroads. GMC is an LGBTQ community organization for southeastern Vermont, southwestern New Hampshire, and northwestern Massachusetts. It was founded by a couple of people who are simultaneously really incredibly lovely and very very dedicated to their community. From the Facebook page: "Green Mountain Crossroads is a nonprofit organization working to increase the connections among the LGBTQ communities. We maintain a community events calendar on our website, and assist in organizing events, workshops, performances, and support groups. Our website also provides resources and referrals for health and well being."
Day 6: Davis-Putter Scholarship Fund. I have a friend who's on the board of this organization (they have 16 days left to raise $10,000 on their indiegogo campaign, if you're into that), but I also just love the idea of supporting student activists, specifically. From their "about the fund" page: "The Davis-Putter Scholarship Fund provides grants to students actively working for peace and justice. These need-based scholarships are awarded to those able to do academic work at the university level and who are part of the progressive movement on the campus and in the community. Early recipients worked for civil rights, against McCarthyism, and for peace in Vietnam. Recent grantees have been active in the struggle against racism, sexism, homophobia, and other forms of oppression; building the movement for economic justice; and creating peace through international anti-imperialist solidarity."
Day 7: Justice in the Body. I got to know this organization (and one of its founders) when I crashed on its floor (organization, not founder) about a year ago. If you're in the Portland area, check it out — I find myself frequently wishing it was closer, or actually just more widespread. They're doing great work in so many seemingly disparate but widely varied ways. From their "About JITB" section: "Justice in the Body is a socially responsible education, training, and movement center devoted to integrating well-being, love, justice, and liberation with individuals, groups, and social movements." The founder I met had a practice of asking people who asked about JITB: "What would justice in your body look like?" I've been carrying that question around for a year now.
Day 8: Academy of Hope. My first job out of college was teaching adult ed at AoH, and that experience was totally formative in so many ways. It changed how I thought about teaching, and learning, and privilege, while I was at the same time living in a group house that was changing how I thought about faith and community. Big year. When I moved back to DC a few years later, I volunteered, and am proud to have also participated in their adult spelling bee, which is among the best fundraisers I've participated in. From the "Mission and Values" page: "Academy of Hope's mission is to provide high quality adult basic education in a manner that changes lives and improves our community. ... Since its beginning in 1985, the Academy of Hope has been powered by adult learners, volunteers, donors and staff who are dedicated to building one of the most respected not-for-profit organizations in the Washington, D.C., area."
Day 9: You Gotta Believe. An old friend is adopting a 19-year-old young man through this organization. I can't think of any reason why most of you would know that the adoption (or fostering) of older youth is, like, A Thing for me, but it is. From their mission: "You Gotta Believe is one of a precious few organizations in the U.S and the only organization in the New York City Metro area that solely limits its practice to finding permanent parents and families for young adults, teens, and pre-teens in the foster care system. We were founded with a mission to find adoptive parents for pre-teens, teens and young adults before they age out of the foster care system and run the extremely high risk of becoming homeless."
Day 10: Yes!And Collaborative Arts. Did you know that March is Youth Art Month? Neither did I. But I do know that having artistic outlets, early, made me comfortable in many of the things I am today: weird, silly, a gifted problem-solver... Those outlets also gave me the friend who suggested this nonprofit to me. From the "About Y!A" page: "Yes! And... equips children and young people with the tools to be better learners, to believe in themselves and to realize their dreams through the work of creating collaboratively with peers and professional artists. As educators, we practice and teach a different way of interacting with kids, with each other and with the world. We believe that children learn best when they are given the opportunity to engage with one another, classroom content and their own ideas in the context of a safe, affirming and specific environment – this we call Tribe Centered Learning, a unique brand of Collaborative Arts Education."
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Just Cause (Part 1)
So now we embark on our 40 Days of Worthy Causes. I'll be highlighting a cause a day for each day of Lent. I hope you'll find some of them worth looking into, even supporting — and I hope you'll tell me what some of your favorites are, too, in the comments.
- Day 1: Episcopal Relief and Development formerly The Presiding Bishop's Fund for World Relief). ERD is one of my go-to organizations, mostly because it's well-managed. From the "What We Do" page: "Episcopal Relief & Development works with Church partners and other local organizations to save lives and transform communities worldwide. We rebuild after disasters and empower people to create lasting solutions that fight poverty, hunger and disease. Working in close to 40 countries, our programs impact the lives of approximately 3 million people around the world. ... Our four core program areas [are]: Alleviate Hunger and Improve Food Supply, Create Economic Opportunities and Strengthen Communities, Promote Health and Fight Disease, Respond to Disasters and Rebuild Communities."
- Day 2: JDRF. When I started asking around about people's favorite causes, I was surprised by how often this one came up, because I didn't immediately recognize the acronym. But it did come up, a lot. From the "About JDRF" page: "JDRF is the leading global organization funding type 1 diabetes (T1D) research. JDRF’s goal is to progressively remove the impact of T1D from people’s lives until we achieve a world without T1D. JDRF collaborates with a wide spectrum of partners and is the only organization with the scientific resources, regulatory influence, and a working plan to better treat, prevent, and eventually cure T1D. ... JDRF is currently sponsoring $530 million in scientific research in 17 countries. In 2012 alone, JDRF provided more than $110 million to T1D research. More than 80 percent of JDRF’s expenditures directly support research and research-related education. In 2012 Forbes magazine named JDRF one of its five All-Star charities, citing the organization’s efficiency and effectiveness."
- Day 3: Takoma Park Volunteer Fire Department. TPVFD is mostly on this list because of the good work frequent commenter Mike is doing with them, both as a volunteer and through partner efforts for community CPR training. From Mike's comment on this post, "I got a grant for my volunteer fire department to teach a CPR instructor class (CPR instructor training is surprisingly hard to get and very expensive) for free to people who commit to teaching a certain number of free CPR classes for the community over the next few years. Next we'll be looking for funding to do an instructor class for bilingual Spanish speakers, so we can offer CPR classes in Spanish, and ASL speakers so we can offer classes in sign language. (You'd think that would be available already in these parts -- D.C. -- thanks to Gallaudet University, but even they use interpreters and non-signing instructors.) Disclosure: The training is provided through the donated labor of a small business Heather and I started to teach CPR and first aid, so we will also be able to employ some of these new instructors. But we are not making any money from the grants. (Like us on Facebook: Takoma Park CPR.)"
- Day 4 (also International Women's Day): Girls on the Run. This is another one that's dear to the heart of several who are dear to me. From the "Who We Are" page: "We inspire girls to be joyful, healthy and confident using a fun, experience-based curriculum which creatively integrates running. ... We envision a world where every girl knows and activates her limitless potential and is free to boldly pursue her dreams. Girls on the Run honors its core values. We strive to: Recognize our power and responsibility to be intentional in our decision making; embrace our differences and find strength in our connectedness; express joy, optimism and gratitude through our words, thoughts and actions; nurture our physical, emotional and spiritual health; lead with an open heart and assume positive intent; stand up for ourselves and others." I'm not really doing it justice. It's a phenomenal curriculum that incorporates physical health with confidence-boosting and leadership and other good values.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Monday, December 30, 2013
A reading rainbow
Do you find there's so much on the internet you don't have time to read it all?
Does that lead to you opening a tab for each and then not getting back to them sometimes for a looooong time?
Hey, me, too.
This weekend, I was very, very sick. Today, I am better, but have been taking it easy on the couch. And catching up on the whole internet. And I think part of why I keep those tabs open is that I keep meaning to not only read them, but share them with an appropriate audience.
Hey, appropriate audience.
Seriously, all of these links likely aren't for any of you, but if you can't find something here that interests you, what are you reading?
Does that lead to you opening a tab for each and then not getting back to them sometimes for a looooong time?
Hey, me, too.
This weekend, I was very, very sick. Today, I am better, but have been taking it easy on the couch. And catching up on the whole internet. And I think part of why I keep those tabs open is that I keep meaning to not only read them, but share them with an appropriate audience.
Hey, appropriate audience.
Seriously, all of these links likely aren't for any of you, but if you can't find something here that interests you, what are you reading?
- Now-defunct Biblical theme park in Connecticut
- House mouse prevention and control
- How My Past As A Black Woman Informs Me As A Black Male Feminist
- Principality of Sealand
- Top 100 Greatest Gay Movies
- Why it's Awesome to be a Nerd
- John Tyler still has two living grandchildren
- 1942 ‘Time Capsule’ Apartment Discovered In Paris
- Perfect Love Casts Out Fear
- Read the "Stomach-Churning" Sexual Assault Accusations Against R. Kelly in Full
- Stop Hurting America With Unnecessary Teaser Questions
- So What About The LGBTQ People Who Don't Want To Get Married?
- The Choice To Be Childfree
- 9 Out Of 10 Americans Are Completely Wrong About This Mind-Blowing Fact
- 21 Things '80s Kids' Did That Would Horrify Us Now
- Cockblocking Rapists Is A Moral Obligation; or, How To Stop Rape Right Now
- The Top 30 Beauty Secrets from the People Who Know Best
- How Slam-Dunking, Gender-Bending WNBA Rookie Brittney Griner is Changing the world of Sports
- Isolation Cannot Heal Isolation: One Survivors Response to Sexual Assault
OK, so now I read (and closed) all those tabs. What are you reading?
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Thank you
Happy Thanksgiving.
I think we've discussed before that I feel conflicted about Thanksgiving; for some of why, see Cal's blog. It's worth knowing that the things we were told about Pilgrims and Indians is beyond sappy and inaccurate; it's dangerous, willful propaganda.
But then there is pie, which is not such a big deal, and the one time a year my mother's side of the family is together, which is a big deal, and an opportunity to reflect on gratitude, which is the biggest deal of all, to me.
So, conflicted.
I try to separate the great gifts of this day from the reason for the season, and I do OK, because like most Americans, I do just fine at ignoring history, mostly — but ignoring history has a price, and I am lucky enough that I'm not the one paying it, mostly.
Sorry, didn't mean to be such a downer. It just seemed wrong to have you along for this ride for a whole month without my saying anything.
And today's piece of gratitude, about which I feel unconflicted, is you.
It's everyone who reads this blog, ever.
And it is most especially those of you who've helped me out this month.
The eleven of you have enriched this month for me through your stories and your generosity and your taking some of the pressure off me.
Day 28 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful for you. Thanks again.
I think we've discussed before that I feel conflicted about Thanksgiving; for some of why, see Cal's blog. It's worth knowing that the things we were told about Pilgrims and Indians is beyond sappy and inaccurate; it's dangerous, willful propaganda.
But then there is pie, which is not such a big deal, and the one time a year my mother's side of the family is together, which is a big deal, and an opportunity to reflect on gratitude, which is the biggest deal of all, to me.
So, conflicted.
I try to separate the great gifts of this day from the reason for the season, and I do OK, because like most Americans, I do just fine at ignoring history, mostly — but ignoring history has a price, and I am lucky enough that I'm not the one paying it, mostly.
Sorry, didn't mean to be such a downer. It just seemed wrong to have you along for this ride for a whole month without my saying anything.
And today's piece of gratitude, about which I feel unconflicted, is you.
It's everyone who reads this blog, ever.
And it is most especially those of you who've helped me out this month.
- bzh, and
- April, and
- Amanda, and
- Joe, and
- my Rock Star friend, and
- Bread Truck Grrl, and
- the happily married, and
- Mike, and
- RI, and
- Kay, and
- Calvin Rey
The eleven of you have enriched this month for me through your stories and your generosity and your taking some of the pressure off me.
Day 28 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful for you. Thanks again.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Ain't a state like Maine or Virginia
Today, after I left work (having spent most of the day working fairly autonomously), I went to see a movie about a closeted gay kid in 1984 with some friends.
From there, we went to a bar for a drink and some board games, and met a guy who's a day out after seven months in prison.
And then (having waited a suitable amount of time between the drinking and the driving), I headed home, radio blaring, and heard stories of the newly pardoned Scottsboro boys and the three women in London who recently escaped decades of slavery.
I don't think my evenings often have themes, but when they do, they do.
Day 21 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful for more kinds of freedom than I can count, including but not limited to the ones I so often take for granted.
From there, we went to a bar for a drink and some board games, and met a guy who's a day out after seven months in prison.
And then (having waited a suitable amount of time between the drinking and the driving), I headed home, radio blaring, and heard stories of the newly pardoned Scottsboro boys and the three women in London who recently escaped decades of slavery.
I don't think my evenings often have themes, but when they do, they do.
Day 21 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful for more kinds of freedom than I can count, including but not limited to the ones I so often take for granted.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Transgender Day of Remembrance 2013
Today is the Trans Day of Remembrance.
I wanted to mark it here, but don't want to be the cisprivileged person who co-opts something that is, really, a memorial.
The TDOR link above contains lots of information, including where you can find real, in-person events today in your area.
A quick Google search will give you names of those we memorialize, statistics, and things written by people who know better than I do why this day is necessary.
And here are a few links that have been shared with me today by other folks. If you have other links to add, please feel free to comment.
Day 20 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful for the lives of both those who have died and those who have survived, as I am hopeful that the epidemic of violence — both individual and systemic — against transpeople will end.
I wanted to mark it here, but don't want to be the cisprivileged person who co-opts something that is, really, a memorial.
The TDOR link above contains lots of information, including where you can find real, in-person events today in your area.
A quick Google search will give you names of those we memorialize, statistics, and things written by people who know better than I do why this day is necessary.
And here are a few links that have been shared with me today by other folks. If you have other links to add, please feel free to comment.
- Transgender Murders 50 Percent Higher Than Gays, Lesbians In July
- We Matter! Transgender Day of Remembrance 2013
- Transgender, Dead, and Forgotten
Day 20 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful for the lives of both those who have died and those who have survived, as I am hopeful that the epidemic of violence — both individual and systemic — against transpeople will end.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Windsor knot
Note: On the Facebook page, I mentioned a little while back that I had a folder full of drafts I never finished: More than 60 of 'em, in fact. I'm going through that folder now, deleting what's not worth it, posting what might entertain you. This dates back just to June 26, 2013.
I have a new financial advisor. He does not replace an old financial advisor; he just replaces my wildly inaccurate view of myself as someone who can afford to just not pay attention.
And when I got him, I asked around to be sure I was getting someone who'd worked successfully with queer folks in New Hampshire in the past, because laws are tricky and weird and inconsistent, and my current needs are not queer-specific, but who's to say what the future brings? I don't want to have to change financial advisors mid-stream.
And I found this guy I like, who came very highly recommended. He's straight himself, but he seems generally to get it, and he understands my weird money hangups, so, fine.
This morning, he sent me this e-mail:
And it is nothing short of amazing to me to think that this guy would think to shoot me an e-mail of that kind. This is not the heartwarming kind of equality, maybe, but having the professionals who work for me treat my life as, like, equally important to "regular" people's would have been unfathomable to me even ten years ago.**
It's a big day.
Day 14 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful that the world and my country are changing, even when the change is slow and even when it is imperfect.
*I have no doubt that Edie loved her wife Thea. I have seen the documentary, and if you haven't, you should think about it, because it's beautiful. But it is not love that won that court case. Equality, perhaps, and justice, perhaps — and thousands of people will benefit from the outcome. Hey, binational couples! Looking at you!
**A little less than ten years ago, in fact, a doctor neglected to prescribe me medication that would have helped me with a medical condition because I was not married and she did not want me to get accidentally pregnant, without even explaining that, much less offering me the option. At the time, an accidental pregnancy could literally only have been the result of a rape. Less than ten years ago, in an urban environment, the reality of my life did not cross my doctor's mind.
I have a new financial advisor. He does not replace an old financial advisor; he just replaces my wildly inaccurate view of myself as someone who can afford to just not pay attention.
And when I got him, I asked around to be sure I was getting someone who'd worked successfully with queer folks in New Hampshire in the past, because laws are tricky and weird and inconsistent, and my current needs are not queer-specific, but who's to say what the future brings? I don't want to have to change financial advisors mid-stream.
And I found this guy I like, who came very highly recommended. He's straight himself, but he seems generally to get it, and he understands my weird money hangups, so, fine.
This morning, he sent me this e-mail:
Subject: DOMA Provision Overturned!
Hi [bzzzzgrrrl],
Just received news that the Supreme Court overturned a provision in the Defense of Marriage Act. We will be waiting for the details as they become available.
All the best,Now, yes, this is basically just him doing his job, and yes, it does boil this morning's decision down to being all about money. But honestly, cynically: It is all about money. A (sweet, adorable) elderly wealthy white woman can now avoid paying the same taxes a straight wealthy white woman would avoid paying. That was the case before the Court. It was a good choice, because many of the Justices can probably relate to being elderly and/or wealthy and/or white.*
[financial advisor]
And it is nothing short of amazing to me to think that this guy would think to shoot me an e-mail of that kind. This is not the heartwarming kind of equality, maybe, but having the professionals who work for me treat my life as, like, equally important to "regular" people's would have been unfathomable to me even ten years ago.**
It's a big day.
Day 14 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful that the world and my country are changing, even when the change is slow and even when it is imperfect.
*I have no doubt that Edie loved her wife Thea. I have seen the documentary, and if you haven't, you should think about it, because it's beautiful. But it is not love that won that court case. Equality, perhaps, and justice, perhaps — and thousands of people will benefit from the outcome. Hey, binational couples! Looking at you!
**A little less than ten years ago, in fact, a doctor neglected to prescribe me medication that would have helped me with a medical condition because I was not married and she did not want me to get accidentally pregnant, without even explaining that, much less offering me the option. At the time, an accidental pregnancy could literally only have been the result of a rape. Less than ten years ago, in an urban environment, the reality of my life did not cross my doctor's mind.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Halloween costumes: Now, even more fun!
I loooooooove Halloween. Love, love, love it.
But also, I work on a college campus and live in a college town, which means that there is approximately zero chance I will not see a racist, sexist, or homophobic costume. There is some chance I will not see an ableist one, but there is also a chance I will.
I am pretty sure none of my readers would ever do such a thing. But in case you know people who might, I will write this post so you can share it with them and save everyone some trouble.
Here's the thing: No one says, "Hey, Halloween's coming, how can I be superoffensive?" No one says, "I am a big racist, and like other big racists, I think this is funny. My racist friends will be so amused!"
People wear superoffensive costumes because they aren't thinking about it at all.
So here are a few things you can think, very quickly, about your potential costume, to see if the offensiveness of it might override the scariness or cleverness or awesomeness.
May I offer you this one? I love it, and really feel like someone should do it. I think it's equally good for a kid or a grownup. Plus, now, if I see anyone dressed as a snail, I will assume they were thinking of dressing as a lesbian or a Mexican and decided, based on this post, that a snail would be better, and that will make me so beyond happy.
I might even give them a hug.
But also, I work on a college campus and live in a college town, which means that there is approximately zero chance I will not see a racist, sexist, or homophobic costume. There is some chance I will not see an ableist one, but there is also a chance I will.
I am pretty sure none of my readers would ever do such a thing. But in case you know people who might, I will write this post so you can share it with them and save everyone some trouble.
Here's the thing: No one says, "Hey, Halloween's coming, how can I be superoffensive?" No one says, "I am a big racist, and like other big racists, I think this is funny. My racist friends will be so amused!"
People wear superoffensive costumes because they aren't thinking about it at all.
So here are a few things you can think, very quickly, about your potential costume, to see if the offensiveness of it might override the scariness or cleverness or awesomeness.
- Might someone else possibly construe this as offensive? This is a good one because you don't need (or get) to excuse it with, "My black best friend thinks it's hilarious." It's not about your one black best friend. It's about all the other people who don't know you and how awesomely clever you are, who will see you in person or on Facebook or anywhere else.
- Am I dressing up as a stereotype of people who actually exist? If you got past the first question but stumbled a little on this one, go back to the first one again now.
- Might my costume hurt a real person's feelings? This is a little trickier, but maybe (probably) you actually know someone who has struggled with addiction or unwanted pregnancy or mental illness. Maybe you know someone who embraces a religion you think is hilarious. Maybe you don't, but maybe someone you don't know will see you at a party and you will remind them of the person they used to know who died, and it will make them sad. If you're stumbling here, go back to the second question, and also the first.
- Does my costume rely on making fun of someone, and can I do better than that? Because, if yes, then yes.
May I offer you this one? I love it, and really feel like someone should do it. I think it's equally good for a kid or a grownup. Plus, now, if I see anyone dressed as a snail, I will assume they were thinking of dressing as a lesbian or a Mexican and decided, based on this post, that a snail would be better, and that will make me so beyond happy.
I might even give them a hug.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Breaking: Conservative Men Threatened by Poor and/or Working Mothers
Note: On the Facebook page, I mentioned a little while back that I had a folder full of drafts I never finished: More than 60 of 'em, in fact. I'm going through that folder now, deleting what's not worth it, posting what might entertain you. This dates back just to June 2013.
So, by now you may have seen some of the hubbub over on Fox News. Apparently, there are conservatives who believe that women should be at home with their babies, and apparently, some of their colleagues, who are women working tirelessly to advance the cause of conservatism on TV wish they would shut the hell up.
That is an oversimplification, for sure, but not much of one. I do not need to speak for Megyn Kelly and Greta Van Susteren; they are happy to speak for themselves.
Now, you might think what I'm all riled up about is the sexism — or even the homophobia. Yawn. I am used to the sexism, and it does not surprise me at all when it rears its ugly head. Particularly on Fox News. Like, Kelly and Van Susteren should not have to stand for that crap, and should call folks out on it when they can, but if they are just now noticing it, I am going to have to start calling her Greta Van Winkle, because, y'know, wake up.
I am more interested in getting riled up by following the argument to its logical conclusion, which would appear to be that nonrich people should not breed.
I know there are people of many sexes and genders who work because they love it. I also believe that most people, regardless of how much they love their jobs, or enjoy the work they do, work for pay largely so that they can pay for stuff. If those people, regardless or sex or gender, happen to be parents (or hope to one day become parents) much of the stuff they hope to pay for is kid-related, directly or indirectly: diapers, education, housing, food, 8th-grade trips to Washington, whatever.
And if your family situation is such that you can buy those things (or at least the things you prioritize) with no woman-generated income, and all the adults in the household are pleased with that as an arrangement, then great. I can think of a number of ways that might be true: Wealth. Heterosexual couple with a high-earning male in it. Gay male couple. Single dad doing the best he can. Polyandry.
But even if Lou Dobbs was right that kids with working moms are worse off (which has not been demonstrated), the logical conclusion of his train of thought is that households with one or more women in them, all of whom need or want to be earning a living, should be disqualified from having or raising children.
And I can think of a couple ways to accomplish that, but I don't much like them.
So, by now you may have seen some of the hubbub over on Fox News. Apparently, there are conservatives who believe that women should be at home with their babies, and apparently, some of their colleagues, who are women working tirelessly to advance the cause of conservatism on TV wish they would shut the hell up.
That is an oversimplification, for sure, but not much of one. I do not need to speak for Megyn Kelly and Greta Van Susteren; they are happy to speak for themselves.
Now, you might think what I'm all riled up about is the sexism — or even the homophobia. Yawn. I am used to the sexism, and it does not surprise me at all when it rears its ugly head. Particularly on Fox News. Like, Kelly and Van Susteren should not have to stand for that crap, and should call folks out on it when they can, but if they are just now noticing it, I am going to have to start calling her Greta Van Winkle, because, y'know, wake up.
I am more interested in getting riled up by following the argument to its logical conclusion, which would appear to be that nonrich people should not breed.
I know there are people of many sexes and genders who work because they love it. I also believe that most people, regardless of how much they love their jobs, or enjoy the work they do, work for pay largely so that they can pay for stuff. If those people, regardless or sex or gender, happen to be parents (or hope to one day become parents) much of the stuff they hope to pay for is kid-related, directly or indirectly: diapers, education, housing, food, 8th-grade trips to Washington, whatever.
And if your family situation is such that you can buy those things (or at least the things you prioritize) with no woman-generated income, and all the adults in the household are pleased with that as an arrangement, then great. I can think of a number of ways that might be true: Wealth. Heterosexual couple with a high-earning male in it. Gay male couple. Single dad doing the best he can. Polyandry.
But even if Lou Dobbs was right that kids with working moms are worse off (which has not been demonstrated), the logical conclusion of his train of thought is that households with one or more women in them, all of whom need or want to be earning a living, should be disqualified from having or raising children.
And I can think of a couple ways to accomplish that, but I don't much like them.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Apology accepted
Note: On the Facebook page, I mentioned a little while back that I had a folder full of drafts I never finished: More than 60 of 'em, in fact. I'm going through that folder now, deleting what's not worth it, posting what might entertain you. This dates back just to August 2013.
I don't know how to write about body image and weight stuff, exactly. Because I've been many of the things.
And in case you're wondering what I think these days, philosophically, intellectually, I think this: I think for me, any weight I am is fine, as long as I'm healthy. And I think any weight I am is actually none of anyone else's business, even if I'm not healthy. And even if the weight is related to the health.
Emotionally, I waver from all of that a lot, as much as anybody does, maybe. I let it be other people's business, sometimes. I decide that my weight is not fine. I assume people who don't think I'm attractive are probably specifically not attracted to weight. And then I get over it, because that philosophical, intellectual belief is every bit as real as those sometimes devastating emotional waves.
That's a long introduction to this, which I think everyone should read. By everyone I mean:
Because there is a lot in there of value. (Speaking of value, I actually originally saw that post when it was linked to at A Black Girl's Guide to Weight Loss, which is a terrific, smart, non-shaming, antiracist blog about exercise and eating well, regardless of who you are and why you want to eat well and exercise — that also includes some excellent and very real insights about racism and sexism in America, and how they intersect.)
I don't know how to write about body image and weight stuff, exactly. Because I've been many of the things.
- I've been thin and happy(ish) with my weight. (OK, that has hardly ever been true. But it has literally ever been true.)
- I've been thin and thought I was fat, and been unhappy about that.
- I've been fat and happy.
- I've been fat and unhappy.
- I've lost weight unhealthily (physically and emotionally).
- I've lost weight healthily.
- I've gained weight unhealthily.
- I've gained weight healthily.
- I've had people tell me I was too big, needed to lose a few pounds, ask when I was due — and those people have included doctors, when I was at a wide range of weights. In fact, they've included every doctor I've had but one, since I was about 14.
- I've had people tell me I was beautiful, perfect.
- I've had people tell me it doesn't matter, as long as I'm healthy.
- I've had people project their own fears onto me — whether by openly dreading the possibility they could ever look like me or by insisting that I would be happier thinner.
And in case you're wondering what I think these days, philosophically, intellectually, I think this: I think for me, any weight I am is fine, as long as I'm healthy. And I think any weight I am is actually none of anyone else's business, even if I'm not healthy. And even if the weight is related to the health.
Emotionally, I waver from all of that a lot, as much as anybody does, maybe. I let it be other people's business, sometimes. I decide that my weight is not fine. I assume people who don't think I'm attractive are probably specifically not attracted to weight. And then I get over it, because that philosophical, intellectual belief is every bit as real as those sometimes devastating emotional waves.
That's a long introduction to this, which I think everyone should read. By everyone I mean:
- Every woman who has ever worried about her weight and considered doing something about it.
- Every person who has ever thought they knew anything at all about anyone else's weight.
- Anyone who has ever trusted a salesperson.
- Anyone who has ever known what 1,200 calories looks like.
- Anyone who has never had to know what 1,200 calories looks like.
Because there is a lot in there of value. (Speaking of value, I actually originally saw that post when it was linked to at A Black Girl's Guide to Weight Loss, which is a terrific, smart, non-shaming, antiracist blog about exercise and eating well, regardless of who you are and why you want to eat well and exercise — that also includes some excellent and very real insights about racism and sexism in America, and how they intersect.)
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
My Yankee Doodle
I tried to say this on my own Facebook page, but it just sounded scoldy and soapboxy, so it felt like I should maybe take it over here, where I actually have a soapbox.
There's a nuclear power plant in our region that has been bad news for lots of very real reasons, and people have been protesting its existence for a long time.
And now it's slated to shut down.
And a lot of folks are celebrating, and I get it, but — I grew up near a nuclear power plant that employed a lot of people, and this is not all good news.
In a town of about 2,200 people, 630 jobs were just lost. Obviously, not everyone who works at Vermont Yankee lives in Vernon — which means we'll feel the effects regionwide. And 630 people either lost their jobs or will be relocated to other areas. That's hard for many of them.
And also:
Other people have also already acknowledged that (there's a really great editorial out there that I suddenly can't find; if you know the one, please feel free to link to it in the comments), but my own circle seems much more inclined to rejoice first, ask questions later. And I do not mean to diminish the role of people who've spent countless hours working to stop something that has been (and will continue to be for decades, actually) a real danger. I know I sound scoldy. I don't mean to sound scoldy.
But I'm seeing this as a mixed blessing, for sure. There are people I like having around who will not be as a result of this, and it makes me sad.
There's a nuclear power plant in our region that has been bad news for lots of very real reasons, and people have been protesting its existence for a long time.
And now it's slated to shut down.
And a lot of folks are celebrating, and I get it, but — I grew up near a nuclear power plant that employed a lot of people, and this is not all good news.
In a town of about 2,200 people, 630 jobs were just lost. Obviously, not everyone who works at Vermont Yankee lives in Vernon — which means we'll feel the effects regionwide. And 630 people either lost their jobs or will be relocated to other areas. That's hard for many of them.
And also:
- For those who benefited from those individuals' presence in the community
- For those who made money selling them goods and services
- For those who are served by the nonprofits they donated to or volunteered for
- For those who were already looking for jobs who will now have to compete with a whole new pool of skilled labor
- For really, probably, everyone in the region, whether they understand it or not.
Other people have also already acknowledged that (there's a really great editorial out there that I suddenly can't find; if you know the one, please feel free to link to it in the comments), but my own circle seems much more inclined to rejoice first, ask questions later. And I do not mean to diminish the role of people who've spent countless hours working to stop something that has been (and will continue to be for decades, actually) a real danger. I know I sound scoldy. I don't mean to sound scoldy.
But I'm seeing this as a mixed blessing, for sure. There are people I like having around who will not be as a result of this, and it makes me sad.
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