Wednesday, July 9, 2008

About New England

It has come to my attention recently that several of my friends are not from New England, and do not have any sense of how it works. Possibly, this is true of some of the thousands of people who read this blog and do not know me, as well. Those who are generally interested in learning something about geography should read this whole post. Those who are only interested in geography as it may pertain to their relationships with me are permitted to read only the parts in bold and italics.

New England is not like "the Southeast" or "the Midwest," where people discuss whether certain states or metropolitan areas really count. New England is six specific states, period: Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont. (That's alphabetical. If you want help figuring out what's what on the map, Maine is the big one all the way to the east. New Hampshire is due west, and Vermont is west of New Hampshire. Massachusetts is the one with Cape Cod jutting out, just south of New Hampshire and Vermont. Rhode Island is south of Massachusetts, on the coast, and it is teeny. Connecticut is south of Massachusetts and west of Rhode Island. The ocean is on the right.)

Look at the map above and notice how tiny all of New England is. Look at wherever you're from and notice how much bigger it probably is.

Unfortunately, in Northern New England (that's Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont), the roads aren't always straight, and they aren't always good, which means sometimes it takes longer to get from where you are to where you're going than the map suggests. Even still, I do not think there is anywhere in New England that is more than a two-hour drive from at least two other states or Canadian provinces.

I live sort of in the middle. I am less than a two-hour drive from all of the New England states if I speed, from five out of six if I obey local laws.

According to Google maps:
  • I am about two hours from Boston.
  • I am about two and a half hours from Burlington, Vermont.
  • I am about two and a half hours from Providence, Rhode Island.
  • I am about two hours from Hartford, Connecticut.
  • I am about an hour and a quarter from Manchester, New Hampshire.
  • I am about three hours from Portland, Maine (darned Northern New England roads!).
  • I am about three hours from the Canadian border (which, as my coworker says, is a good thing to know).

If you are going to any of the New England states, you should let me know, because the chances that I would just meet you somewhere for coffee or dinner or drinks or lunch are very high. Last night, I went to Boston after work, just for the evening. I wouldn't do that every weeknight, but it's not out of the realm of possibility. I will go to Brattleboro, Vermont, or Northampton, Massachusetts, almost any time, possibly even for lunch on a work day.

7 comments:

Joe said...

I love it, CityMouse. . .nothing like a good ol' New England geography lesson. . .all that's missing is a YouTube link to that old Saturday Night Live skit, "You Can't Get There From Here.". ..

bzzzzgrrrl said...

You are dead right, Joe Coombs, and based on your comment I have now spent very much too much time looking for that video. I now have a lot of info, but no link and no video. That was a game show they did, called "What's the Best Way," and it aired in 1992. Host was Glenn Close, musical guest was the Black Crowes. Please-oh-please-oh-please, someone find that video.

Lisa Clarke said...

Why don't I remember that skit? If it aired in 1992, the chances are very high that we were all enjoying it together from the comfort of our suite living room...

As for the New England primer, every time I daydream about a weekend away from it all, I am thinking about New England. More specifically, usually Vermont, but frankly VT, NH, ME, and even MA will all do...

Remind me to tell you sometime about the surprise trip to Vermont that I took Neil on someday.

Anonymous said...

Saturday Night Live? No, that was an old (1957) Bert and I routine.

Tourist pulls up in front of a Maine country store and asks the guys hanging out on the porch, "Which Way to Millinocket?". After much discussion of various routes they conclude "You can't get there from here!"

Then there's the one about the tourist in a sports car who goes ZOOOOOOOOMMMMMINNG past the village store, comes to a SCREEEECHING halt at at the next turn, WHIPS around, ZOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMSS by again in the other direction, SCREEEECHES to another halt at the far intersection, WHIPS around again, ZOOOOOOMMMMMMMSSS up to the store, SCREEEEECHES to a halt, and asks the guys hanging out "HEY, WHICH WAY TO NORTH EASTBURYPORT VILLAGE?"

One of the guys clears his throat and says "Don't you move a goddamn inch!"

Anonymous said...

oh you are so cute. and yes, i am one of those people who brought it to your attention because i will be in northampton, mass. in less than weeks and would love to see you. and yes, i am from *michigan* and just don't get it, even with the explanation. and sunday works for me, so let's get a late brunch. Miss you.

nyczoo said...

One of my favorite SNL skits ever.

Speaking of New England-inspired SNL finery, here's another one, where Jerz meets Mass.

A Totally Wicked Springsteen" Conceht

Anonymous said...

Re: "I will go to Brattleboro, Vermont, or Northampton, Massachusetts, almost any time, possibly even for lunch on a work day."

D'oh! Now you post this, dated the day after my wife and I got back from four days in Northampton, Massachusetts.