Wednesday, September 19, 2012

More sex talk, thanks to Facebook

Warning: This post is about sex, and while it is not especially graphic, it may make, say, people who are squeamish about sex, or elderly relatives of the blogger, or the blogger herself (who is totally unsqueamish about sex, sort of), a little uncomfortable. Read past this point at your own peril.

Disclaimer: None of this comes from any form of personal experience. It is absolutely all just following a logic that has maybe eluded some folks.

A Facebook friend of mine claims that a man, after sex with an acquaintance of hers, actually took said acquaintance's pulse to make sure she wasn't faking it.

A few things about that:

  • I'm not sure what the pulse is supposed to prove. I mean, it might tell the difference between bored to death and acting excited, but it won't tell the difference between excited-but-it's-not-gonna-happen-tonight and acting like it already did, right?
  • Even if it did help, it's not information you want. If a woman is prepared to fake it, it's not because she's hoping her partner will do something more or different. It's because she would like her partner to stop trying, for some reason. There is no useful information to be gained in the moment from knowing whether she is faking.*
  • If what you hope to gain from such a test is an understanding of whether she can be trusted to be honest in intimate moments, because you care so deeply about that particular piece of honesty, you should figure out whether your problem is that you don't trust women or that you don't trust this woman. If it's the former, get yourself some professional help, because you are not making any friends this way. If it's the latter, stop having sex with her.

Anything to add to this, readers? 

*There might be something to be gained from, in an entirely separate and clothed moment, letting said woman know that it won't hurt your feelings if she just asks you to stop — but only if that's true. Under no circumstance should it be connected to any alleged fakery. Oh, and it should go without saying, but may not, that if your partner asks you to stop, you do, immediately, even if you think you could do better or your feelings are hurt. You know that already, right? If not, for real. You have to.


CG said...

Wait. What I want to know ireactions as her reaction after having her pulse checked? Because, I'm pretty sure that my reaction would NOT be to continue having sex with that man. I'd be super offended. Also, typing this has made me want a lot more details. Were these two in a relationship? Had they sleep together before? How well did they know each other? Had he tried this before? Did he get the idea in a super douch-y men's magazine?

bzzzzgrrrl said...

These are excellent points, CG. I have asked my FB friend to chime in. Now, I guess, we just wait.

Unknown said...

1 - They were in a relationship, but this was their "first" time.
2- Never done to her before BUT found out that he had a small wee wee for his 6'3" frame....

Bottomline.....he was a bit "insecure"