Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Jail: The new golf course. It's where business happens.

I just had about the strangest call of my life.

A woman named Diane informed me that someone had given my name to the Muscular Dystrophy Association. On September 24, I will apparently be locked up in a Chili's restaurant until my friends bail me out.

I am naturally suspicious.

My naturally suspicious temperament was only aided by the fact that my "friend" has entered the MDA's "witness protection program."

It is a tough thing to be simultaneously sure you're being scammed and totally excited about the The-Office-ness of being imprisoned in a Chili's. Diane no doubt thought I was crazy, but she was very patient with me, as she wants my friends' money. While I had her on the phone, I reverse-looked-up her number (actually the MDA). I also looked to see if there was even a Chili's in this town (there is).

I eventually agreed to have their "officers" "arrest" me at work, around lunchtime.

She also invited me to tell her the names of anyone I might like to have as a "cellmate." I have not yet given her any names, but I will tell you this:
  • If I find out that you are this referring friend, I will give her your name.
  • If you tick me off, I might also give her your name.
  • And if you are nearby and leave a comment saying you would also like to be jailed with some Awesome Blossoms (extra awesome) for a good cause, I will give her your name.

4 comments:

PMJG said...

I would imagine that the best part of being jailed in a Chili's is that you don't have to brew your liquor in a toilet bowl.

icanhasyarn said...

After reading Harriet McBryde Johnson's memoir, I would never donate to the MDA. See here and here for more about her annual telethon protests, but basically her complaint was that Jerry Lewis hurts the cause of disability rights more than he helps it, by acting like the disabled are in need of special treatment...she found it dehumanizing.

Okay, I'm down off the soapbox. :-)

Cousin Mouse said...

It could be worse. I have a "friend" who annually badgers me to join a mid-winter "polar-bear" dip in the bay to end global warming.

mike said...

Wuzzint me. I could make a list of reasons why it would never occur to me to do that to you, but the internet is only so big.

As to PMJG's observation that "the best part of being jailed in a Chili's is that you don't have to brew your liquor in a toilet bowl," that's true, but in most cases, the same can be said of not being jailed in a Chili's.