I said last week I'd introduce you to the Romantic Interest.
Obviously, the best vehicle for this is an online chat from this afternoon.
bzzzzgrrrl: So... I have promised the masses I'll introduce you to them at some point
romantic interest: Right
bzzzzgrrrl: JUST SO YOU KNOW, I have never done that before.
Like, they probably made some assumptions about the artist formerly known as Bread Truck Grrl
but I haven't ever said, like, I'm dating someone and here they are.
bzzzzgrrrl: Anyway, now that you're all freaked out ...
RI: I'm not.
bzzzzgrrrl: … what, if anything, would you think would be relevant for them to know about you?
Or if not relevant, at least funny.
RI: Um... Oh gosh. I just don't know.
bzzzzgrrrl: Can I tell them you're young, and it mostly doesn't matter, except you don't know about Moonlighting or “We Built this City”?
RI: Yeah. That's fine.
bzzzzgrrrl: Can I tell them you're a wicked good bowler?
RI: Of course.
bzzzzgrrrl: Can I tell them you bowled a 214 one time?
(Is that your high score?)
RI: My high score is 249.
RI: That was the game with the 6-pack + 2 that you missed
bzzzzgrrrl: Can I tell them you're cute and nice and smart and funny and fun to be around? Can I tell them avocados with black pepper are delicious, and that that's not a euphemism, just one of the many delightful things I learned by being around you?
RI: You can puff me up as much as you'd like to.
Anything they should know from your perspective about what dating me is like? Or are you worried they'll all wanna do it?
RI: I didn't even think of that. Yes, let's avoid that.
RI: But seriously. I love dating you because you're [REDACTED]. In more ways that one. ;)
bzzzzgrrrl: I am not telling the internet I'm [REDACTED].
But you are also patient, kind, supportive, hilarious, beautiful, brilliant, fun, sexy, caring, open, trusting, communicative, giving and stuff.
As well as [REDACTED].
bzzzzgrrrl: Aw, shucks. Thanks.
You're so great.
RI: I love just how much fun and laughter there is with you.
bzzzzgrrrl: Right. Back. Atcha.
... And that's what you get. Which is maybe more than you deserve.