Here is the story of the hurricane...

I was going to maybe post some foliage pictures today. I also considered telling you about my great weekend. Instead, Frankenstorm is coming, and I thought it might be fun to liveblog until the power goes out. Right?

2:44 Here's where things stand:

• Frankenstorm (Hurricane Sandy plus a cold front) is headed this way.
• In anticipation, the college I work at has been closed for the day.
• The worst of the storm is supposed to be 2-9 p.m.
• So far, we're getting what would in other circumstances be described as a light shower.
• A year ago, Hurricane Irene was also predicted to be devastating. It was, about 20 miles west. Horrible. Here in my town, we only ever got showers.
• I am attempting neither to over- nor under-react. So: 
• My phone is charged.
• My bathtub is filled with water.
• I know where at least one lantern and at least one candle are located.
• The windows are closed, and so is the garage door.
• I have perhaps naively put some of Beth's Salsa Chicken in the crock pot, which will either mean I have delicious food later or a bunch of half-cooked spicy bacteria I have to throw away because the power went out.

Now I should be cleaning house before I lose the lights, because it's a mess and I'm home and who knows who'll have to come stay in my hillside haven.

Instead, I am starting to watch a movie I initially attempted to explain to you but am now so appalled that I'm about to watch that I'll only tell you about it if I think you should watch it. Sorry, everyone.

3:02 p.m. Oh, also, Joe Biden was supposed to come to the college today. So really, we've just traded one liveblogging opportunity for another. Stay safe, Brett. No pics, Alexis — there's nothing interesting enough to take pics of yet.

3:27 p.m. Still no real wind to speak of. It is raining harder. This movie is terrible. How often do you want updates, and concerning storm, or household activities, or both?It is possible I have bowling tonight, but for now, we're playing it by ear.

3:34 p.m. Raining even a little harder. I'm turning this movie off. If you would also like to avoid it, it's Albert Fish, about a real-life Depression-era child murderer and cannibal. It's at least as bad as that sounds.

3:42 p.m. Movie's off. Extreme Couponing is on. I'm not saying I have great taste in movies and TV; I'm just saying if I'm going to watch crap, I'd prefer it not to make me sick to my stomach. Possibly related: That salsa chicken smells amazing.

3:55 p.m. My mechanic friend just called to ask if he could park his limo and possibly some other cars in my higher-elevation-than-his-shop driveway. hells yes, I say. Also: It is possible that the reason it seems unwindy to me is that the window I am looking out its the one on the side of my house least likely to get wind. When my craving for a Pepsi Throwback gets so bad I need to indulge it, I'll get up and look out a different window and let you know.

4:06 p.m. Pepsi Throwback obtained, but not without incident: I might have spilled a bunch of ice on the floor. Not a lot of wind on any side of the house. I'm considering a fire in the fireplace. Also, a person whose day can be in part described with "she calls the store manager for a routine check on coupon policies" have different routines than mine.

4:25 p.m. Here's the thing about bowling: Even if it's OK when I leave the house at 6:15, if it's not OK when I'm done bowling at 8:30 or 9, I'm stuck at the bowling alley for who knows how long. We should just not go, right? But I love my queer bowling. Sigh.

4:36 p.m. I got bored with Extreme Couponing and also discovered that there was a whole season of Important Things with Demetri Martin I hadn't seen. Everyone should always be watching that show. Unrelated but potentially useful: If you need to find an emergency shelter from the storm, you can text FEMA.

4:57 p.m. Commenter Emily (fun side note: many many of my friends are named Emily. I a little bit wonder which one that is) has requested the recipe for salsa chicken. I assume and hope it's OK to share, but I'd rather check with Beth first. Another fun side note: If you are my IRL persona's Facebook friend (that doesn't sound healthy), you can look at my "notes" and find a whole long one full of awesome Crock Pot recipes.

5:06 p.m. Permission granted! Also, the wind's picking up.

4 boneless chicken breasts
large jar of salsa
can black beans
corn (frozen or canned), however much you want
Put the boneless chicken breasts in your crockpot. Even frozen.
Dump in one large jar of salsa.
Drain and rinse one can of black beans and dump in crockpot.
Turn your crockpot on and leave it there all day. Come back 10 hours later and open the crockpot. Shred up the chicken. Add the corn. Stir it up good.
Serve in bowls with sides of shredded Mexican cheeses and sour cream. Eat with tortillas or tortilla chips. (You could eat it in taco shells, too.)

5:37 p.m. We should really make a decision about bowling.

5:57 p.m. The bowling teammates and I have decided not to bowl. It feels like a smart choice. Especially since, as I was on the phone with one of said teammates:

• we realized there were two other opportunities to hang out in the next two days, and
• the wind picked up. It's starting to feel like a hurricane.

Also, are you impressed by how many times I have managed to type "bowling" and not typed "blowing," especially in the middle of a wind-based storm? I sort of am. Off to call Yankee Lanes.

6:26 p.m. Sorry for these long gaps between posts; I am running out of things to say, a little, except to individuals, which is why I seem to have moved somewhat to gchat and Facebook chat. If I say anything hilarious in either of those media, I will try to repost here. Meanwhile, I am finally going to eat some of that salsa chicken. And maybe start a fire in the fireplace. Or make some lemonade. Or make some lemonade and then turn it into whiskey lemonade. And keep it away from the computer.

7:16 p.m. Wind does not seem to have gotten worse and may have died down. Rain seems neither better nor worse. I am drinking lemonade from a cup with a lid. The salsa chicken is fantastic. If you wonder how much corn is "however much you want" from that recipe above, in my case, it's a lot. A whole lot.

7:35 p.m. I have very few regrets in this life; even most of my bad decisions have gotten me other places I want to be, have helped me learn and grow. But I do kind of wish I'd gone bowling.

7:37 p.m. I'm going to challenge myself. I think I can clean the whole sunroom, have it presentable for guests, in 15 minutes. What do you think? Also, I initially wrote "...have it resentable for guests..." Well, you know what? If you're a guest, and you actually resent my cleaning efforts, you can go to hell, buddy. Right to hell. Sometimes blogging is a procrastination tool. OK. Really going to clean for 15 minutes now.

8:07 p.m. Fifteen minutes was not enough, but 25 minutes was enough to clean the sunroom AND talk about the imminent cancellation of someone else's Halloween party to which I was not invited AND go to the bathroom AND put on pajamas. So, not bad.

8:32 p.m. Local schools are closed tomorrow; still no word on whether I have work. But the rain seems to be getting stronger; I'll be surprised if the worst of the storm is really past us by 9. Are any of you still reading? Comment to keep me (and each other) company.

8:41 p.m. I have a special guest star coming!

8:45 p.m. The guest star has arrived. We are now watching Important Things with Demetri Martin together. This promises to be way more entertaining for me than for you, I think. He is the same guest star as we had for the first debate.

8:49 p.m. ... Except now we are out of episodes. We are going back to watching the last episode of the first season. It's on time. Hahahahahaha.

9:03 p.m. The college is closed until noon tomorrow. So, that's cool.

10:24 p.m. OMG you guys. I am so sorry, I didn't forget about you. But Special Guest Star and i started talking about feminism and stuff and then we started watching Hot In Cleveland which you really should be watching. Still have power, still have a few Fritos (though SGS is making a dent in that), and the storm may actually be winding down.

10:57 p.m. SGS and I think but are not sure the rain has stopped.

Nowhere to hide in a small town

This morning, I got up early and went for a long walk with my neighbor, as I sometimes do.

Then, as I sometimes do, still wearing my exercise clothes, I climbed into the daybed in my sunroom to watch last night's Daily Show.

And then around 8 someone rang the bell. I ignored it, as I sometimes do, because I was not expecting anyone and I was not dressed for company and if it was some political thing, I didn't really have time for a long conversation.

Then that someone knocked, in case I hadn't heard the bell. And then I just froze in place, not making a sound, not wanting to so much as rustle so whoever it was would just go away.

And then whoever it was did go away. Very briefly. Until he started taking apart the room I was in —from the outside. Apparently "someone" was my contractor, who is supposed to be doing some work on my house, but who I did not know was starting this morning. But at this point, I was still a mess, and  also a mess who has pretended not to have heard the doorbell or the knock, which might be reasonable if I was in the shower or something, but which is in no way reasonable when I am sitting in the sunroom.

So I stayed frozen. The Daily Show ended and I didn't put anything else on. I unfroze long enough to pull the covers over my head at one point when he got too close to the window.

And then, finally, after some period longer than several minutes but arguably shorter than the one million years it felt like, there was quiet.

I assumed he'd gone back to his truck to get a tool or something. I scurried from the sunroom back to my bedroom, where I quickly got ready for work. I figured I'd just admit the whole thing, except for the hiding. And so I emerged, smiling, dressed, shod, coiffed, ready to engage with the contractor — and he was nowhere. His tools were in a heap on my deck, but the contractor was gone, and so was his truck.

So I was left with no opportunity to explain, but he was obviously going to notice my car, which had been in the garage, was not anymore.

Obviously, I left the awkwardest note in the universe under his pile of tools and took off for work.

This is a fantastic start to this relationship, I feel.

How's your day going?

New debate, old computer

9:06 Here we go!

9:10 OMG everyone I am so late and they are already talking about Libya. But there are new rules for tonight: No drinks near the computer. It's an oldoldold computer, but it's the one I've got, and it'll have to do for a bit. Of course, the fact that I am so late means I have had no opportunity to make lemonade for whiskey lemonade and therefore have no drink at all. What goes in (soft) cider? More whiskey?

9:14 Hm. Technical difficulties abound.The old computer has a harder time with the faster blogging, and Huff Post Live on the Roku has frozen while it rebuffers. If I'm missing anything important, please let me know. Meanwhile, I'm making a drink.

9:18 Still no debate for me. I'm going to miss those famous zingers! Seriously, is anyone saying anything important? I should probably figure out if my radio works. Maybe if it does, Nixon will win.

9:22 Radio does not, in fact, work, but Huff Post Live is back. The president thinks we want to be careful of who we give weapons to. That's novel.

9:24 Oh, and yes. Whiskey goes just fine in (soft) cider. Mmmmmm. You should all go get some. Oh, hey, Mitt's saying something. 

9:25 The president just totally interrupted Mitt. Now, that's fine by me, but it seems like it'd be against the rules of debating. Someone said on the radio today that what defines a good debate moderator is physical proximity to the candidates. They jokingly suggested handcuffs.

9:31 I have both audio and video, but they are in no way synced and the audio's cutting in and out. This should do wonders for facilitating my already completely shaky understanding of foreign policy. Oh, wait, Mitt says we want a peaceful world. That sounds good. Too bad the sound then immediately cut out completely, rendering me unable to hear what he's going to do about that. Those of you who can hear him, does it involve ensuring everyone has access to, say, food, housing, and medical care?

9:37 Ooooh, President O. Hit him in the small business! Go gogogogogogo!

9:40 Mitt Romney, I went to school in Massachusetts. The kids do well because Massachusetts is FULL of academic parents. Also, in the particular school I went to, which was very highly regarded, cheating was RAMPANT and funding was HUGE. How is that related to you exactly? Whihc part are you responsible for?

9:44 I was at the Salt Lake City Olympics, and they were amazing. I loved Mitt Romney then. I wish he'd sort of faded away after that.

9:55 Is Mitt anti-diplomacy?

9:58 I don't know how you'd even begin to isolate Romney's "biggest whopper," but OK.

10:03 During the first debate, I thought Obama sounded smart and Romney sounded like a liar. Other people thought Obama sounded boring and Romney sounded dynamic. I think the same thing again. Do other people think Obama's boring tonight? Do they think it matters? I mean, I'd take a boring smart president over a dynamic liar, if those were my choices.

10:07 Mitt appears to be sweating a lot. I did not know he could do that. Possibly but not definitely unrelated: I have finished my drink.

10:26 I'm sorry, I'm still here, I just haven't had anything to say in 20 minutes. Don't some of you have something to say?

10:29 "People will look it up," say the candidates. Um...

10:32 Oh, good, Bob Schieffer showed up and he loves teachers. Whatever. P.S. Mitt Romney has the creepiest laugh ever.

10:34 I like the president and I love my country and if I never hear the good ol' U.S. of A. referred to as the "greatest nation in the world," it'll be too soon.

10:35 How the heck does any Republican in 2012 get to be the peace candidate?

10:37 The Huff Post Live crew thought it was a terrible debate. OK. I'll buy that.

What works

I'm off soon for opening night of The Big Play, but I had a thought earlier today that I'd like to expand on.

Every workplace has its pros and cons. Here are some things I dig about my current workplace:

• I have never gotten an e-mail scolding me about the refrigerator.
• We have unisex bathrooms.
• Even though we have unisex bathrooms, I have never had to lower a toilet seat.

So, it's possible. Why isn't it universal?

What's up

There's been a lot going on around here, primarily work and a play I'm doing, but also some other volunteer stuff.

As a result, you get one of those bulleted lists I have become famous for.

• I now think of myself as writing two types of posts: Ones that I hope are hilarious or brilliant and will become viral masterworks, and ones that I write to let my most faithful readers (who include some of my closest friends) know what's up. This is the second kind. You can tell because no one who doesn't know me would care about it.
• I had an MRI yesterday. You do not need to worry about that. You may need to worry about this: when they asked what I wanted on the satellite radio to distract me, I chose classic rock because I was too embarrassed to say what I really wanted, which was conservative talk radio. Rush and Glenn Beck are pretty perfect distractions, but I am not about to discuss that with strangers.
• I got involved in the aforementioned play in such a convoluted way I have to believe it was meant to be. I am not sure if the reason for that was to introduce me to these amazing people, or to get me back in a theater, or to make me think about gender and mental health differently, or something else, or some combination, but I don't care. I'm having the time of my life.
• For this year only, my annual Women's Weekend with many friends has been toned down to a smaller getaway with one female friend, starting right after the show closes. I am looking forward to it enough that it is preventing me from sinking into a deep depression at the thought that the show is closing. So, that's good. Check in on me Tuesday.
• Sometimes, on Facebook, I click the "x" for all the "People You May Know" that I don't actually know, until I get a roster of folks I do know but don't choose to friend on Facebook.
• Having spent a lifetime with allergies, I'm finally seeing an allergist in December. She is apparently a woman and very personable, both of which are apparently unusual for allergists.
• Who has a guess for what the oddest thing I'm allergic to is? I bet it's a doozy.
• The foliage up here is still really pretty. I have taken some pictures. I'll share them soon.
• When I hear the phrase, "women in binders," I (and many queers, I'll warrant) picture this, not this. Or also whatever Mitt meant.
• Although the next debate falls on my bowling night, I should be home in time for it. Let's try the liveblogging thing again, shall we? It was so fun last time.

Come out, come out, wherever you are

Happy National Coming Out Day.

I've done some stuff on outness in the past. (Here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, specifically.)

This year, I'm saving it for the LGBTQIA folks here on CMC.

I'll pose the same challenge on my own Facebook page, but understanding that some of you readers are not my Facebook friends, and that some of you who are may prefer the anonymity of the blog, we're doing it here, too.  If you have one, use the comments to share a coming-out story. Pick whatever one you'd most like to share (The most recent? The first? The funniest? The weirdest? The most educational?). Heck, tell us a couple. Tell as many as you feel inclined to. Use your real name or a fake one; I don't care.

This should go without saying, but: Your own stories only, please.

If you have something to share that's not a coming-out story, just for today, I'm asking you not to do it here. Feel free to comment on the CMC Facebook page, or to come back and comment on the blog another day, or to e-mail questions or comments or whatever, but for today, this space isn't yours. Please, please, please pass this on to others who might have something to share. I'd love for this comment thread to get loooooong.

I'll start with one, but will likely share one or two others through the day in the comments:

I was a senior in college, and completely freaking out about all the things seniors in college freak out about (what will I do with my life? Who am I, anyway?) and scheduled an appointment with my Women's Studies professor (an excellent professor and influence in a very early-90s gender deconstructionist way) the Tuesday before Thanksgiving to talk about the fact that my passions seemed to be in Women's Studies, but I didn't want to stay in school long enough to teach it, and I didn't want to work in non-profits the rest of my life. So we talked about that, and in very dramatic fashion, I think I told her more or less every thought I had in my head (My boyfriend collects handguns and I don't believe in handguns! I'm in this weird situation with my roommates! I think I'm bisexual* and I don't know what to do with that!). I'd literally never before that moment admitted even to myself that that was even a real possibility. 

And she was my first of many examples that someone can be fine with what you say and still respond in ways you'd prefer they not. Her response (to all of the above, actually), was, "So what?" Which was, in its horrible, dismissive, evil way, fantastic. It did not calm me down any, but it got me to verbalize about what, specifically, was the big deal of my story ("Gender may all be socialized**, but socialization is real, and people have real and sometimes dangerous reactions to people who stray outside the lines, and just because you're an academic doesn't mean I will always have the protection you can claim for yourself!").

And then, I calmed down. 

*I do not, anymore, identify as bisexual, though I did for more than a decade.
**I do not, anymore, think gender is all socialized, but I did at the time and so did she. I should e-mail her and find out if she still thinks that. 

Foliage for Joe (possibly the first in a series)

More than a week ago, frequent reader and commenter Joe asked about the foliage. I have so badly wanted to do a foliage post since, but it has been raining for a week.

Yesterday, it was sunny and in the 70s, and rather than risk the gorgeous weather waiting to have time to take pictures in more scenic locations, you're getting what I shot with my 2-year-old cell phone while walking to get lunch on Main Street. I know some of you wonder, even with all my delightful stories, how I could ever have left the DC area to live in New Hampshire. Wonder no more.

Joe, this one's for you.

Click on any image for a bigger one. I think.

(OK, the sky is not really as blue as it is in this last picture.
As may be obvious, I shot this one from my car while I was at a stoplight, on my way back from dropping off my computer, so that blue is the shade on the top of my windshield.
But the leaf color is all real, and all the colors in the other pics are all real.)

Smells Like Teen Something

Allow me to present a real conversation that just happened to me.

Me: My computer won't turn on. It's possible that it just won't charge.
Service technician younger than my car: OK, I think I talked to you on the phone. You've had it less than a year?
Me: Yes.
STYTMC: [Types a bunch into his computer] OK.
Me: It was working fine Wednesday night until about 10:30, and then, Thursday morning, it wasn't working at all.
STYTMC: OK.
Me: [Hesitates]
STYTMC: [Waits]
Me: Um, here's what I'm afraid might have happened. I was out of the room, and a friend spilled a drink near the computer, and we didn't think he spilled any on the computer, but I'm worried maybe he did and we didn't take care of it right away because we didn't think we needed to.
STYTMC: [Types a bunch into his computer. Looks at me. Smells my laptop.] What do you think might have been spilled on it?
Me: Um, whiskey and lemonade.
STYTMC: [Sighs almost imperceptibly {but not imperceptibly enough, buddy}, types more.] OK. I'll figure it out.

Now, I get that this story makes me look bad, but also:

• What was he typing after I said "whiskey and lemonade"? Is there a service code for whiskey and lemonade?
• When he says, "I'll figure it out," does he mean, "I'll figure out what's wrong with your computer and fix it."? Or does he mean, "I'll figure out whether it was whiskey and lemonade or something else by licking your computer."? Because it kind of seemed like the latter. 
• I think I might be OK with the latter, as long as it's also the former.

In related news, a long weekend starts tomorrow and I will not have a computer until Monday at the earliest. We'll see how I do with that.

Hell yes, I'm liveblogging the debate. What could go wrong?

Remember when I live-ish blogged the vice president's visit to campus?

We're trying that again with the debate.

9:04 blah blah blah rules. Here's my setup: I'm at home, watching the debate on Huffington Post Live through the Roku. I've been home sick-ish from work, trying to nip a cold in the bud, and am now eating a giant salad with my friend and special guest star, who has shockingly not yet earned a nickname on CMC yet, but we'll try to fix that tonight.

9:08 Do you think part of Romney's problem is that he's in the Uncanny Valley?

9:09 Oh, if any of you thought you were going to get any information out of this liveblog, you're in the wrong place. All I have is snarky remarks, with high hopes for occasional real admiration.

9:12 This salad is amazing.

9:13 I think we're going to play the drinking game. That's a lot to juggle. Hang on while I make a drink. I'm leaving the computer with my special guest star, in case he has anything to say about anything.

9:15 Special guest star is having trouble understanding Romney because of glitches in the sound and therefore has very little to say. Also Obama now that he's back on. Oh well.

9:17 Bzzzzgrrrl back again, with a delicious whiskey lemonade. SO MANY sound glitches, and the audio and video do not currently match. BOOOOOOOOO Huffington Post Live through the Roku.

9:18 Special guest star says, and I agree, "Taxes affect me and how hard I have to work and all that, but I mostly just care how people are treated." He then elaborated for a bit on which people he means (hint: ALL THE PEOPLE).

[9:21 taking a break from liveblogging to focus on the drinking game.]

[9:22 except that now we have no sound at all, for huge chunks of time.]

9:25 Sound's back, but this version of the game has people drink if anyone says "taxes." I would be wasted already, just in the several minutes I've been playing, if I could actually keep up with how often they say that. I'm just going to drink my drink at a regular pace instead. Oh, here's some information: whiskey lemonade is the ideal alcoholic beverage when you are sickish. You should not be "chugging" alcohol when you're sick, though, I don't think. And I'm not.

9:30 Special guest star, who is, not coincidentally, a Quaker, said if Romney didn't mention the military in his list of PBS and health care and other things he'll cut, he (special Quaker guest star) would punch him (Romney) in the face. And now I can never reveal who the special guest star is, for fear of Secret Service involvement. But I am now obviously on some list. Thanks a lot, Quaker.

9:38 Commenter Joe just said something funnier than anything I would ever have thought to say. I am not repeating it up here, but you should go read it, especially if you, say, used to work with Commenter Joe and me. Or for any of a number of other fine DC-area publications. SO GLAD you're reading, buddy.

9:42 I can't tell if Jim Lehrer hates them both, or just Romney. But there is some real loathing going on there.

9:46 Special guest star sez: He seems so angry. It's the way his lips are.

9:47 Me to special guest star: Is it gross to you that I'm just eating my salad with my fingers now?
Special guest star: Not in the least.
That, my friends, is what friendship looks like.

9:53 I totally have room in my garage to open a bank. I should do that. My uncle's been pushing for a wood shop.

9:59 "Expensive things hurt families." Special guest star thinks he means when a guy hits his wife with a Tiffany lamp. I just assumed he meant fancy heterosexual weddings.

10:05 When special guest star watches the debate through his glass, it looks like a TV on TV, like when people on TV are watching a TV show.

10:15 Here's my proposed drinking game for the next debate: Drink when Romney smirks inappropriately. I feel like it's simpler than other forms out there, and also would result in a similar amount of drinking. Dude really is a champion smirker.

10:19 We are patently not a nation that believes we're all children of the same God. Some of us believe that, and part of what gives that belief any weight is that we don't have to believe it as a nation. Others of us do not believe that, and what we do believe as a nation is that people can believe what they believe.

10:20 Did he just offer school choice to lower-income children but not poor children?

10:24 "You're entitled to your own house, and your own plane, but not not your own facts." That must be one of those zingers we've heard Romney's been practicing since August.

10:28 That inspiration I was looking for? Got it.

10:30 I have to say, mockery aside, this was a better debate than I was anticipating. More civil. 'Course, Joe's gone to bed now, so what more can there really be to say?

10:33 Just this: "I will not cut the military." Wow.

10:36 And this: Huffington Post Live, a bunch of analysts and journalists sitting at their computers in their offices is not "the definition of an afterparty." You need to get out more.

Things that would not happen in Washington (but would happen in a movie)

In a staff meeting, at my office, discussing a technical freelancer we may hire, my boss had reason to say, "She had a goat emergency yesterday."

I love this series.

Me and my World-Famous Style

I don't often just share things here that are posted by other people — I tend to use the Facebook page for that (hey, have you "liked" the Facebook page yet? Think how much extra fun stuff you might be missing!).

But then sometimes famous fashion bloggers who are also coincidentally my friends and former coworkers blog tell me what to wear on the internet! (Tell me on the internet, not what to wear on the internet. You got that, right?)

So, read her post.

So... how do you feel about that outfit? Think you have a better suggestion?

Beaten

I went to a house concert Saturday night and saw Antje Duvekot perform.

Overall, it was a good show, but then she played one song I disliked a lot and everyone else looooved it, so she said, "If you liked that, you'll like this next one," and I was afraid of what would happen next, because the one before was really just awful, but then she played this piece of awesome and I wanted to share it with you. It's possibly not for the squeamish. But now that I've said that, how can you resist?




You're welcome.