Thursday, November 14, 2013

Windsor knot

Note: On the Facebook page, I mentioned a little while back that I had a folder full of drafts I never finished: More than 60 of 'em, in fact. I'm going through that folder now, deleting what's not worth it, posting what might entertain you. This dates back just to June 26, 2013. 

I have a new financial advisor. He does not replace an old financial advisor; he just replaces my wildly inaccurate view of myself as someone who can afford to just not pay attention.

And when I got him, I asked around to be sure I was getting someone who'd worked successfully with queer folks in New Hampshire in the past, because laws are tricky and weird and inconsistent, and my current needs are not queer-specific, but who's to say what the future brings? I don't want to have to change financial advisors mid-stream.

And I found this guy I like, who came very highly recommended. He's straight himself, but he seems generally to get it, and he understands my weird money hangups, so, fine.

This morning, he sent me this e-mail:
Subject: DOMA Provision Overturned! 
Hi [bzzzzgrrrl],
Just received news that the Supreme Court overturned a provision in the Defense of Marriage Act. We will be waiting for the details as they become available. 
All the best,
[financial advisor]
Now, yes, this is basically just him doing his job, and yes, it does boil this morning's decision down to being all about money. But honestly, cynically: It is all about money. A (sweet, adorable) elderly wealthy white woman can now avoid paying the same taxes a straight wealthy white woman would avoid paying. That was the case before the Court. It was a good choice, because many of the Justices can probably relate to being elderly and/or wealthy and/or white.*

And it is nothing short of amazing to me to think that this guy would think to shoot me an e-mail of that kind. This is not the heartwarming kind of equality, maybe, but having the professionals who work for me treat my life as, like, equally important to "regular" people's would have been unfathomable to me even ten years ago.**

It's a big day.

Day 14 of our month of gratitude: I am thankful that the world and my country are changing, even when the change is slow and even when it is imperfect.

*I have no doubt that Edie loved her wife Thea. I have seen the documentary, and if you haven't, you should think about it, because it's beautiful. But it is not love that won that court case. Equality, perhaps, and justice, perhaps — and thousands of people will benefit from the outcome. Hey, binational couples! Looking at you!

**A little less than ten years ago, in fact, a doctor neglected to prescribe me medication that would have helped me with a medical condition because I was not married and she did not want me to get accidentally pregnant, without even explaining that, much less offering me the option. At the time, an accidental pregnancy could literally only have been the result of a rape. Less than ten years ago, in an urban environment, the reality of my life did not cross my doctor's mind.

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