Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Sweater vested

Not long ago, I was hanging out with a friend and her friend. We will now call them AF and HF.
AF knows me well enough to know that I really only wear about two different outfits. HF will come to know that soon enough, but really, it's a moment of realization I like to delay until people already know that I am awesome enough to compensate for wearing the same clothes all the time.

So on the second evening in the space of a few days I was to see AF and HF together, I called AF.

"This will sound like a strange question," I said, "but was I wearing my blue sweater on Friday?"
"Yes," she said.
"Thanks," I said, glad to know that I would be wearing the other outfit that evening.
"Not the one you always wear," she said, and I was momentarily stunned.
"Do I have another blue sweater?" I asked.
"Not the cardigan. This one's darker, and wool," she said.
I knew immediately what sweater she meant, and resolved to wear the blue sweater I do always wear.

I am sorry we are this far into this story and nothing interesting has happened. A heads-up: Nothing interesting will happen in the rest of it, either.

But I went to my room and looked at my sweaters, and realized that I don't have two blue sweaters. I have six. I tend only to wear the two frumpiest.

Morals of this story:
  • I do too have something to wear.
  • My already-limited fashion sense has gone to hell in the last year.
  • I should make an effort to buy some non-blue sweaters, I guess.
This is not a moral of the story, but seemed worth sharing nonetheless:
  • If someone had a business where they delivered Pop Tarts and Diet Coke to me in my office, they wouldn't get rich, but they'd get excellent tips, and they'd be making what I like to think of as a real difference in the world. Consider that.

8 comments:

pj said...

soo does this mean you’re going to shop??
I have the same wardrobe only it now consists of mostly black, turtlenecks & sweaters and yes, I think through when I wore what to what and not to wear it too consecutively to the same group-you are not alone.
On the not so subtle dear Santa request-(as if they would buy you dc and pt and ask for you to pay for it!)knowing those who know you, you will be sick to death of dc and pt in a week you will be so overwhelmed and if anyone's interested...I too have a penchant for dc, m&m's (peanut)and...airheads.
oh and pps. you haven't mentioned repetitive jewelry wearing....
PJ

Anonymous said...

If there was a decoder key mailed out prior to the publication of this cryptic entry, I did not receive it.

Lisa Clarke said...

Despite the lack of anything interesting happening in this story, I have to tell you I enjoyed the telling of it immensely. Plus, I no longer feel quite as bad about my own less-than-inspirational wardrobe decisions of late.

mike said...

A certain wife of mine -- and let me be clear that I think this is really cute -- asked me to be on the lookout for Mork & Mindy suspenders. (That is, wide rainbow suspenders like Mork always wore.) For my part, when I finish going bald, I plan to start wearing a Charlie Brown shirt.

Anonymous said...

Knowing this certain wife, I definately think the rainbow suspenders would be fab! However would the balding part make you more like Mindy's folicle challenged Dad? Besides you're way too tall to be like chuck!

bzzzzgrrrl said...

I wonder which of my balding friends named Mike that was. One seems more likely to start wearing a Charlie Brown shirt, the other's wife seems more likely to wear the suspenders. Hm.
In any case, I have rainbow suspenders somewhere, from when I was Mork for Halloween a few years ago, and if I find them, I will offer them to all the Mikes I know.

Cousin Mouse said...

So, you collect blue sweaters? Good information to have just prior to Christmas. I'll let the rest of the family know.

Kay Bailey said...

VERY funny!