I am the gatekeeper.

A few weeks ago, I noticed that there was a dark, water-stained-looking spot on the ceiling in the common area outside my office.

I reported it to the powers that be, who reported it to the folks at Physical Plant, who could not find a water source, but said they'd replace the tile.

Then, yesterday, I looked at my own office ceiling and noticed similar stains, right over my desk. It also seemed to me that  the common area stain had gotten worse, but I couldn't swear to it. So I went to my office neighbor (ON)'s office. The dark stain over his desk (and several computers) was by far the worst. It was cracked and sagging. Very bad.

We reported it to the powers that be, who reported it to Physical Plant.

Half an hour later, ON came into my office. "You've gotta see this," he said. I went into his office and his stain had gotten even worse. More cracks, more sagging. We decided we needed to move the important stuff out from under it, but of course, we were joking around (and therefore standing around) as we did it.

It could be an incontinent raccoon, we thought. Or bees. Or snakes. And as we discussed these possibilities, the tile in question collapsed onto his desk, missing the computers and me, but barely. Obviously, I shrieked, loudly, and we all scrambled and then assessed the damage by the falling tile. It did hit a beautiful pottery lamp ON's wife had made, but didn't break it. 


I attempted to move my smallish desk (stuffed with files) and couldn't do it myself, so obviously, I wandered off to tell other people of my morning's adventures.

When I came back, action had been taken. The physical plant guys had arrived, had moved my desk out of the way, had removed all of the troubling tiles in all three locations, and had put trash cans and recycling cans under the now very obvious drips. It seems there was a clog in the line of the building's air conditioner and a bunch of other stuff I neither completely understood nor retained and now a lot of water.

My boss was very gracious and understanding when I suggested that, due to the sound of dripping water that was in no way contained to the two buckets in my office but kept dripping on my arm even when I sat at my desk's new location, I'd be working from home the rest of the day, which I did.

This morning, I got up early and took a beautiful hike, punctuated by elephant ears and fruit salad and mimosas with a stunning view of the sunrise. That is in no way related to the rest of the story, but it is nonetheless true and demonstrates that I am awesome.

When I came in to work this morning, the ceiling tiles were all still missing, and there was some water in the trash and recycling cans. No more dripping, though, so that was good.

And now my desk is seemingly comically close to the door. To give you a vague picture: in a roughly 9'x14' office, my roughly 3'x6' desk is directly in front of the door, close enough that you can open the door all the way, but just. I appear to be a receptionist for my own (smallish) office, blocking the entrance and making it uninviting.

And that amuses me enough that I'm keeping it that way.*

It's the little things, amiright?






*Plus, you know, can't really move it myself.